Monday, February 1, 2010


Today I went for a hypnotherapy/ counseling session with Fred Stander to help alleviate my pain.  Fred is an experienced holistic therapist specializing in hypnosis and spiritual healing.  I have had 3 sessions with him in the past to deal with different issues, and each time I left the session feeling much better, knowing something more about myself, and gaining new realization and perspective.

I briefly told him what had happened to me yesterday morning (details I won't reveal out of respect for the other person involved), and he said,"I'm sorry to hear that.  You are traumatized."  I've always known when I was traumatized, feeling like a victim of a hit-and-run, yet no one ever looked at me and told me I was traumatized.  I wonder if I looked traumatized - if there is such a look.  Anyways, he warned me that this time would be more difficult than the past, because the nature of the relationship was so much more intense and serious, and the trauma so much more dramatic.  He told me to expect he could help alleviate 50% of the pain, and the rest I would still need to sort out myself.

Without going too deep into the background of the matter, he did an exercise with me to visualize whatever emotion I was feeling as an object, and asked me to "feel" it in my mind.  The next step was to agree to let go of it right then and there.  I had done this exercise with him before, so I was familiar with the process and how it really worked wonders.  But this time was different - after repeating the exercise a few times he did a full hypnosis on me.  He instructed me to relax each body part one by one, and gradually his voice became smaller and smaller until I felt like I was in such deep sleep except I could still hear him talking to me, then I came back to my senses when he asked me to come back to the present.  It was amazing, that was my first hypnosis.  I don't know how that worked, but somehow it helped me let go of that "physical" pain I was feeling as a result of my emotional pain.

We did another exercise afterwards, visualizing the scene where I had just arrived home from my trip yesterday.  I was to feel the emotions in that scene, pause it, see myself in that scene from a distance like a third person, see the scene turn into black and white, then blurry, then see it from a greater and greater distance like I was floating into the galaxy looking down at the blurry scene outside my home.  Then, turn it off.

We didn't spend too much time talking in this session, unlike in past sessions.  It was really to focus on fixing me, instead of trying to understand or fix the relationship.  Yet, it was very inspiring.  I accepted that it was beyond my ability to change things, that I needed to accept that we ceased to be on the same team and thus I had to move on as well without feeling overly painful for what he was going through at his end.  Ultimately, we started off as two individuals, two strangers, who came together and fell in love.  Now we are back to two individuals.

Fred remembers him as a sweet guy who was sincere about resolving issues with me.  I remember too.  And now, I need to stop projecting the past into the future.

He reminded me to keep talking to friends, keep a balanced diet, not to binge on carbs or sugar, drink plenty of water to flush out the toxins, keep my routine no matter how drained I felt and exercise.

I'm feeling half better.  As for the remaining half, I will need to count on myself.

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