Monday, October 20, 2014

Reunion with Myself

I call this a reunion as I've been neglecting myself for too long without realizing it, and now is time to reunite with my mind, my heart, my personal space. It's a little awkward at first, as if reconnecting with a long lost friend, but i am sure I will enjoy it more and more with a little time. 

To celebrate this, I took a day off today, went to a cool little restaurant for lunch alone in Wong Chuk Hang, and am now having a cup of coffee in Tree (South Horizons) before checking out the outlet stores floor by floor. 

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Pão de Queijo recipe - simple and authentic Brazilian cheese bread

So far this is the best recipe I tried, and I added some comments based on the confusion I had in the process the first few times. It takes just like the ones in Brazil. :)

Ingredients - makes around 24 ping ping size balls:
- 2 1/4 cups of tapioca flour, aka tapioca starch (usually can be found in international supermarkets. I bought a cheap one from Thailand.)
- 1/4 cup (57g) of butter
- 1/2 cup of whole milk
- 2 large eggs, at room temperature
- 1 cup of freshly grated Parmesan/ mix of Parmesan & Mozarella or other white cheese. (Can use packaged shredded ones. Look for "Italian mix" if available.)
- 1 tsp of sea salt

1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees F (190 degrees C).
2. Pour butter, milk, and salt into a saucepan, and place over high heat. When the mixture comes to a boil, remove from heat immediately, and pour into a big bowl with tapioca flour already in it.
3. Use wooden spoon to mix well (it will be quite dry), and use hands to help knead.
4. When it finally becomes a dough, use the wooden spoon to roughly separate into smaller proportions (basically to just create some space in the dough), to help it cool down. Set aside for 10 to 15 minutes.
5. Stir the beaten eggs into the tapioca mixture and use your hands to help mix it up. It will become very sticky and mushy. Then add in the cheese and keep using your hands to mix/ knead well. It's okay that it's not a smooth mix, but make sure it's well mixed. [At this stage, if the mix is far too moist like pancake batter, then you have two options: try mixing in some more tapioca flour, or put the batter in the fridge for another 15 mins to try to make it easier to handle.]
6. Oil your hands or keep your hands moist, use an oiled spoon to get a spoonful of the mix to roll into ping pong size balls (or smaller if you prefer) with your hands. Place on baking sheet, no need to leave too much space between balls. The balls don't need to be smooth an perfect.
7. Bake in preheated oven until the tops are lightly browned, 15 to 20 minutes. (The center is meant to be a soft and chewy, like mochi.)
8. Serve hot. Can eat as is, or cut open and butter the center, or cut open and butter the center + sprinkle with sugar and cinnamon powder.
For unused dough, roll into ping pong balls, place on a plate (I use cling wrap to wrap the plate first so they don't get stuck) to freeze until hard - about an hour or two. Then remove from plate and store in freezer bag in freezer. Takes around 3-5 extra minutes to bake frozen ones.

Sunday, December 9, 2012

Beauty Motivation

One good excuse I give myself for my obsessive online buying habit is self respect. I'm beginning to even think that it is a crime to not invest in your looks! Here's why.....

Admittedly, working in the beauty industry now, surrounded by men and women alike who really take good care of their looks, I probably have a higher need than the average woman to look my optimal as much as I can. Still, it is exactly because I am in this environment, I appreciate the motivation for looking good.

It is not always as superficial as I used to think. Among some people and in some cultures, such as the Japanese, looking good is out of self respect and respect for the occasion and people around them. Japanese women wear makeup not to hide flaws, but to show their respect for themselves, regardless of age, dedicating time and attention to look presentable. By respecting oneself, she respects others around them.

I hardly ever wore foundation before, or powdered my face. I thought effortlessly natural looking great skin was to be proud of. After working in this company and interviewing women from various cultures which take beauty seriously, I learned to appreciate the strive for skills and technique (vs sans effort) to look flawless and perfect (vs great).

Same with clothing. Dressing well isn't about brand names, but showing that you gave your look of the day some thoughts, not just pulling together random pieces of clean, wearable clothing. Sometimes I see little kids dressed in ill-matching colors and mix of random patterns (think ducky Tshirt with checkered pants and polka dot jacket and lace hair clip...), I can't help but frown and wonder why the parents are doing that to the kid. Just like you would teach your kid basic hygiene since they are young, why wouldn't you teach him/her basic dressing principles? For that, I thank my mom for dressing me and my brother really well since young.

How cool is it to have a job that inspires me to be more beautiful!

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Five Years

Five years ago, around this time of the year, someone dear to me at the time decided to leave me and move to another country.  (A few months later, after briefly reappearing, he disappeared for good.)

After five years of imagining that scene of meeting unexpectedly one day, it happened.  We ran into each other in an airport.  Interestingly - or uninterestingly, rather - there was no exchange of warm smiles, no tears of joy or regret, no eye contact.  Rather, I blurted, "Oh.  My.  God."

Received a short note from him next morning, but I never replied.  Yes I was curious to know everything that had happened to him in past 5 years, but I decided not to reply.

Thanks for the wonderful, intoxicating memories.  I am now living in a real world, with a real dog, a real boyfriend.  True, real world is nothing like that bliss I lived in, it does not have that sparkle that disappeared with you - but it is so much more predictable and grounded.

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Conscious, peaceful, natural, comfortable-with-each-other-without-drama love

A few years ago when Carrie Bradshaw in SATC said, "I'm looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can't live-without-each-other love" I could not agree more. 

Today, it no longer resonates with me. I appreciate love. Real love. Conscious, peaceful, natural, comfortable-with-each-other-without-drama love. 

For the first time, I'm enjoying someone's company so much that just watching TV feels so peacefully happy. A kiss on the cheek feels so sweet. A hug feels so warm and reassuring. 

I'm not madly in love. But even better than madly in love, I am loving the feeling of loving this person.

Monday, January 2, 2012

My 2011 Great Finds (&Recommendations)

1. La Mer cream
Awesome for very dry skin.

2. Top Chef (reality TV show)
My favorite TV show, it is really impressive the creative dishes these professional chefs can whip up given short time limits.

3. Valencia, Spain (side trip destination in Spain)
I adore Spain, and I have been to some of the most popular cities. A business trip took me to Valencia, a relatively smaller city, and I loved how bohemian it was while still offering plenty of interesting architecture to admire.

4. Shiseido Tsubaki shampoo, conditioner, treatment and conditioning spray
Truly impressive results I had never experienced - my sun damaged hair became shiny and manageable. It was like miracle.

5. Shiseido Integrate swivel eyeliner/ shadow in golden brown color
My friend recommended this product to me in Japan drugstore. It glides on smoothlJy, no smearing for hours, and can be blended to work like an eye shadow. It's a beautiful product. My "HG".

6. Marks & Spenser thermo underwear line and heat-generating black leggings
Warm, nice looking and extremely comfortable, I cannot live without them in the winter. I wear them to sleep, and sometimes underneath my sweaters when I go out. As for the black leggings - they are soft like silk and very slimming. Suggest to buy one to two sizes larger than your normal size so the fabric stretches less and looks more black.

7. for online bed linen
At such affordable prices, the bed linen is soft and smooth, of top hotel quality. Delivery is also extremely fast.

8. for cute beaded wrap bracelets

9. Earl Grey martini at 001 Bar (Wellington Street x Graham Street)
It's one of my favorite hangouts, a quiet but quaint bar with a secret entrance in the wet market. No door sign. Just a black door. No photos allowed inside.

10. Gianicolo Trail in Rome
Very nice walk with a great view of Rome. Loved it.

11. Kiehl's original musk fragrance and body lotion
I feel so innocent when I have that scent on me!

12. Fragonard perfume, Paris
I was staying in this very charming boutique hotel where they supplied guests with the Fragonard fig scented toiletries. I fell in love with the scent, researched the brand, and dashed to the Fragonard museum to look for it - sacrificing a longer visit to the Louvre.

13. Crepes in Rue Montparnasse, Paris
Quite a few good creperies in this street.

14. Moka stovetop espresso machines
After making good coffee at home myself, I had trouble drinking bad coffee in restaurants.

15. Unforgettable brigadeiro made by my Brazilian friend, Marianne
It's a special Brazilian sweet made with condensed milk and cocoa powder. I love it way more than chocolate.

16. Amazing molten chocolate pudding in Sirocco restaurant, Soho

17. Po Toi Island for a nice island hike
Totally undeveloped island, it is a great way to spend a day away from the city.

18. A few true java outlets in Sheung Wan for a nice coffee in a quaint neighborhood
Honestly, I don't even remember the name of the place I went to. But, I read that Cafe Loisl is another special one.

19. Shore bone-in cowboy rib steak
Steak heaven!

20. Oolaa, best brunch restaurant / cafe in Hong Kong to spend a lazy afternoon
Love the all day brunch menu. Love the leather sofas. Love the space!

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

In the Midst of Hibernation

Finally have a moment to sit down quietly and pick up my iPad to type. It's been a while since I last blogged, but it was not like I didn't have any inspirations to write - I did, but didn't have the time to sit down for it.

I have just been peacefully happy for the first time in my life. Feeling content with things I have and don't have. Most of my life my emotional state was like a yoyo, going from extreme bliss to extreme sadness. Happiness never felt sustainable, like it would be taken away from me any minute. Now I feel calm and happy. It is nice.

Perhaps too much expectations in life does set one up for disappointment. I stopped expecting and people whose insensitive actions otherwise would have hurt my feelings and caused me wasted energy over-thinking ended up having little or no impact on me. I suppose this indicates I have become a wiser woman?! I may have lost the irrational courage to dream, but I haven't wasted my time and energy on unworthy people. Still a gain.

I do, however, secretly wish that in 2012 I will meet someone who is worth my effort to get out of hibernation mode, though I am very comfortably single right now and cannot imagine accepting anyone into my life. Only someone worthy. Nothing less.

Saturday, October 1, 2011

When He Screws Up So Much, It's Not Meant to Be

When it comes to dating, I believe in signs. No astrology kind of signs, I am referring to the little things that happen whether good or bad. Recently I went on a few dates with a guy and there were all sorts of bad signs, I don't think it's meant to be.

Bad Sign #1: Drunk Dialing me the night before my early conference call
This guy drunk dialed me not just once, but twice! He practically kept talking and talking and refused to hang up.

Bad Sign #2: Not only did he drunk dial me, he complained that I didn't like him enough
Ppppppppleeease, we went on three dates - three dates - and he already dared complain I wasn't making time for him, I wasn't too keen on him. I never even said I liked him! Now before you think I am being harsh on an innocent guy, this guy is in his 40's and has slept with a lot of women. I wouldn't expect him to be an innocent virgin.
He even said: I normally lose interest in girl after 3 dates and I start running in the other direction before the third date, so the fact that I still want to see you it means I really like you.
Um, thanks for making me feel special, but just because you haven't run yet doesn't mean youbare justbas "special" to me, not yet at least!

Bad sign #3: Trying to brag about me like I'm his prize in front of friends
He got very upset when I failed to make it to two gatherings he had with close friends. Hello, we went on three dates only. I have no idea how he planned on introducing me, or what he planned on introducing me as. "Hey, this is the girl I plan to sleep with! Hot huh?!" "Hey, this is the girl I lasted 3 dates with! Surprise!"
He made me feel like he was more eager to prove to his married friends that he might not die sad and lonely after all, than actually feel proud of me.

Bad sign #4: When drunk, he cut me off while I was making a point
Very bad sign. He cut me off multiple signs when I was explaining myself, and he refused to believe I was telling the truth how I felt.

Bad sign #5: Laughing about and kept discussing my age when I told him how old I was
That was bad. He somehow thought I was a few years younger and when I told him I was 35, he kept telling me how surprised he was, and there was many "wows" in the next 10 mins until I insisted we talked about something else.

Bad sign #6: My dog kept barking when he was around
He tried, I think he really tried to bond with my dog even though he had no experience with dogs. From the way he stared right into my dogs eyes, very very seriously, I am convinced he had downloaded an episode of Dog Whisperer before visiting my place, and tried to use his energy to tame my dog. Didn't work. My dog kept barking when we were kissing and that really didn't help. LOL.

Bad sign #7: "I am not a spiritual person."
Thanks for telling me that you don't think about things much. I do. And I like to chat about things I think about.

Bad sign #8: No common music favorites
We listen to completely different music, the only few songs common on our playlists may only be a few pop songs playing in clubs lately.

Bad sign #9: Showed up at yoga late - missing the class - as he partied too hard the night before till 5am
I really made an effort to go to that class together. I ended up going alone.

Bad sign #10: Bad memory probably from drinking too much
He keeps forgetting the things he said, and tells me the same stories like 3 times in a week.....

Need I say more? Well, good thing is, he is probably upset that things aren't progressing smoothly, so he's backing off. I hope I don't have to yell again, to him or any guy "I'm sorry, but we aren't exactly dating and three dates don't make me your girlfriend! I'm just having fun, ok? Take it easy!"

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Saturday Morning

Today was a rare Saturday I was in town and didn't need to dash to dragon boat race or something. So, I decided to do something nice for myself. I made myself two shots of expresso, and a nice fresh pasta lunch. I rarely cooked for myself these days. I remember I used to love cooking breakfast or lunch when I was dating, but since becoming single, cooking for myself was just too much hassle. Today, I enjoyed the hassle.

A guy asked me during a date if I was interested in dating. I didn't mean to reject him flatly, and I meant what I said: In general? If I am interested in dating in general? (Of course I knew he meant dating HIM.) To be honest, I haven't thought about it at all. Hmm... Really, I haven't thought about it. I guess I'm just going with the flow.

I am starting to not miss dating. I used to miss first kisses, waking up staring at the guy in the morning, holding hands, bear hugs, clinging onto the guy's arm like a koala bear, etc..... But I am sort of feeling perhaps a bit too comfortable with myself, and haven't met anyone who made me really want to start dating. I keep associating dating with "a lot of work" in my head, and wish I didn't think that way. I probably just haven't met the right guy yet. It's ok though, I am busy and I am happy and I still got time :)

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Dog vs Man

We all know that one of the reasons it becomes harder to find a companion as we get older is the fact that we have formed our own living habits and found a comfortable lifestyle. It is not always easy to find someone with a compatible lifestyle or someone who is willing to compromise and vice versa. For me, it seems my dog incorporated lifestyle has become the latest obstacle. (Not that I will compromise though.)

I myself am a newish dog owner, I never understood how precious that bond, that responsibility, that devotion and commitment was until I watched my dog develop from puppyhood. He is a life, an individual entity (not just A dog), and family to me. The best thing that has ever happened to me. And I can understand why non dog-owners might simply assume this as obsession.

It is anything but obsession: A dog is not a man, it is more precious than a man in so many ways, I tell you!

I know exactly how to make my dog happy. Very happy. A man's happiness comes from so many different sources.

I am what my dog looks forward to each day. I wouldn't dare expect my man to simply look forward to seeing me each day. I would be lucky if he doesn't occasionally find it a dread to HAVE to see me after a tough day at work.

My dog may get upset at me sometimes, if I deny him access to a room, or do not involve him in some seemingly fun activity, e.g. pouring bleach down the drain. He pouts, but we make up in no time. I have dated so many guys who really held a grudge.

My dog is fully predictable. I know how he would react to things, whether positively or negatively. Not all men are predictable.

My dog has no issue displaying his affection and expressing his feelings. Every emotion shows. I just need to learn to read his body language. I have dated many men who bottled up their feelings then suddenly exploded.

My dog loves me unconditionally. I don't need to put on a sweet smile, wear makeup, high heels, short skirt to make him love me more. He doesn't stop loving me because I care too much about him, or because I am too smart for him.

My dog allows me to love him unconditionally in return without holding back. He wouldn't freak out and think I am crazy for loving him.

A dog is NOT to me replacement of a man in my life. It goes without saying that there are many things only a man can give me, e.g. guidance, emotional support, physical pleasure, intellectual exchange, inspiration, etc. So, yes, of course I want both my dog and a man - a good one - to be my companions.

BUT, if in the occasion where a man who doesn't like dogs forces me to choose between him and my dog - I am sorry, but my dog would be a much better bet. He is here to stay for at least 15 years.

Monday, September 5, 2011

Solo in Italy - My Laid-Back Travel

I spent a week in Italy just to rest away from my usual surroundings and it became one of my best trips. I might not have visited the highest number of tourist attractions or highly reviewed restaurants on tripadvisor, but quantity means nothing to me in this trip. It was not about the most, but the BEST experience - even if it meant just one excellent meal, one heart-warming conversation, one breathtaking view.

The picture here was taken in Orvieto, Umbria. It was an impromptu day trip suggested by a local, after I mentioned that I wanted to visit a quiet town like Sienna, but near to Rome. It was a sweet journey, walking off the beaten path without bothering to follow the map or any guidebook and finding a quiet spot - with no one in sight - to enjoy this rare sight. All other tourists flocked to Duomo, underground caves, tower, ceramic shops. I covered most of those but also had some undisturbed beautiful views of the city and surrounding areas. It was priceless.

Every traveler's source of fulfillment in a trip varies. For a first visit to a city, I do often try to visit the key highlights, to experience as much of the best as possible. But for a second visit, I find it more enjoyable to take it easy and try to understand more of a local's way of life and view of the city. More of a cultural exploration. This trip allowed me to sit back and observe people, slowly enjoy a fantastic homestyle meal without having to chow down my food and rush to a museum or something, leisurely stroll around unfamiliar areas and get lost for a while (before GPS came to my rescue), have meaningful (and flirtatious.....) conversations with a local, take part in a 5-hour cooking class (I don't give a damn how many tourist spots I could have otherwise visited in 5 hours.)..... I walked a lot, rested a lot, talked a lot, smiled a lot. Just what I wanted.

You are special, BUT.....

The B&B owner didn't arrive in the morning to say goodbye.  He sent me an SMS saying: Not all the guests are the same, someone is special and my dad was right. :) I would have had more time to spend with you, but...that's life.  Take care of you (yourself), M.  The message made me sad.  Not because of this person in particular, but too many guys had said similar things to me and I didn't need one more during my 6-day trip. "I like you a lot, but....."  "You are special to me, but....."  "I want to be with you, but....." If there's any "but"', please just keep everything to yourself. I don't want to know how you feel about me if whatever you feel is unjustified at the end of the day, for a short romance or in this case even a proper goodbye hug.  I never asked you to leave your girlfriend, or your business, your job, your country.  Why create such drama by telling me what your dad thought of me, how you found me special, unconventional, yet dangerous?  (in our other conversations)

Saturday, September 3, 2011

I May Not Look 35, but I Certainly Have Experienced Like 35.

I have been traveling in Rome for a week staying in a B&B run by a young (31-yr old) Italian guy who quit his ad agency job to start this business. And strangely, he has become quite fond of me.

Don't get too excited yet - he has a girlfriend and is well aware of our cultural & language barriers (though he is already quite westernized and well traveled for an average Roman), and of course it is also unprofessional for him to mess around with his guest. So, despite our flirtatious behaviour (texting each other when I'm out doing touristy stuff, messaging each other on facebook chat, texting me from the dining room when our morning conversation got interrupted by guests who entered the room for breakfast, asking me "did you sleep well in my bed".....), he bailed a few times after suggesting casually to take me to have coffee or to have gelato in his fav shop. Fair enough.

Today he bailed again, and sent me a message late night, apologizing for delayed SMS, and inability to meet me. I didn't bother replying. And likely he's wondering if I am upset.

My thought on this:
I may not look my age, but I certainly have met and surpassed the minimum life experience for my age. My experience has taught me that most people I meet in my life are likely to be quite predictable. Men, in particular, are very predictable when it comes to emotions and their resulting behaviour. Thus, no need to take anyone too seriously too soon.

So, am I disappointed? Not exactly. I sort of sensed his pattern. Am I upset? Well, just a little, that he wasn't one of those few people who could prove my prediction wrong.

I am not stating that I know everything and am always right. I am merely saying that life does have certain general patterns that repeat themselves, whether we want to accept or not. And I am being realistic and practical WHILE REMAINING HOPEFUL AND OPTIMISTIC THAT I MAY ENCOUNTER EXCEPTIONS TO GENERAL PATTERNS. Each time I meet someone, I always secretly hope he will be a pleasant surprise.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Half My Life Journey Is Complete

Today is my 35th birthday and it strikes me that basically half of my life is gone. If there's another 35 years in my life waiting for me to explore, I don't know if that's long or short. Sounds long, but, I HAVE already finished 35 years ALREADY at the blink of an eye.

Monday, August 15, 2011



Sunday, August 14, 2011

I Like Opinionated People

I don't understand why some people feel so intimidated by people with an opinionated personality.  I have a sneaking suspicion that some cannot distinguish between opinionated and judgmental.  You can have your opinion in a topic, based on your experience, values, knowledge of that matter, but not believe and judge that you have THE right and perfect understanding of the matter or that others are clearly wrong.  You can be unconvinced by others opinions while not necessarily believe you are right.  You can have your opinion but not judge.  That's in my humble opinion what is meant by opinionated. 

Yes I have a POV (point of view) on some topics, but I do sincerely respect others' POV (even when I truly do not agree).  It's only when people - especially friends - tell me what I should think, how I should feel, how I should live, I get defensive.  [Please don't tell me I should live like someone else.  Please don't tell me I should keep giving young, life-inexperienced guys a chance.  Please don't tell me I should give men who give me goosebumps (at the thought of ever getting remotely intimate with) a chance.]  I seek for friends' advice, such as Stef and Dawn's - thank you girls - when I need it, and I respect them for always giving it so much thought and offering me good suggestions, but never trying to force an idea on me. 

Yes I have my values and my thinking, and I will never give this up.  If I have to forgo my POV in order to be with a man who isn't interested in my viewpoint, I'd rather not have a man.  If all my friends have no opinions in anything and only listen to mine, I'd rather have no friends.

I miss having a really good conversation and sharing different POVs.  I genuinely enjoy such thought provoking discussions because that's when you learn about other ways to look at the same topic/ matter.  That's how you grow and become inspired.  I have this male friend who also appears to be judgmental sometimes - probably because he does have a cocky personality as well - but I do enjoy chatting with him and debating on topics because the debate rarely gets heated and we do sometimes end up saying "yeah, actually you ARE right.  I never thought about it that way." 

I do have friends with some really quirky POVs but I love them for having an opinion on things.  I don't have to always agree with them.  What's the big deal with agreeing to disagree? 

I would hope that as people get older, they become more open-minded to hear different opinions, so everyone can be freer and more direct in the way they express their thoughts.  But people around me - local Chinese usually - sometimes tend to analyze each and every word I say, and this is making me self-conscious about my choice of words.  Come on, lighten up!!  Don't read too much into everything I say, it's just a suggestion!  An opinion!  So that you can share yours!  You're turning me into a boring person!

For that, I have learned to really love making friends with Dutch people.  A bit of stereotyping, but I have come across a lot of Dutch people - mainly through work - who are very outspoken and opinionated.  And I love them for that!  Also, some of my many other "gweilo" friends, I feel so much more at ease chatting with them.  It's cool to sometimes use stronger words to bring out a point, but not worried they read far too much into it, but the idea itself.

Having said all this, if you still cannot accept me for this, I accept that we cannot be good friends.

Friday, August 12, 2011




我羨慕已婚的女人嗎?不見得。一般可見到的婚姻生活都像是極枯燥。連已婚的一些男性朋友也對我說婚姻是人生最大的scam。似乎只有女的享受這scam。。。我有些已婚朋友會各自有很多時間和自己的朋友hang out。那些marriage似乎快樂點。每分每秒都只有互相作伴,變成唯一朋友,多恐怖。婚姻不見得會是我生命的全部。

我不渴望戀愛,因為害怕重複地失望。始終disappointing 的男人比promising的多。不代表我不會拍拖、不會戀愛。只是說我不極度渴望,不知還有多少冤枉路要走才遇到真正合得來的。In the meantime, 應酬無聊男孩們又會被人罵我浪費時間、嚇走其他好的男人;不理會他們又會被罵整天呆在家(which is not true, I am very busy)。總是被人批評。

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Jimi Hendrix - Rainy Day, Dream Away

I don't like rainy days.  My face looks very dull without sun rays.  Yet today, I am enjoying the heavy rain, suddenly remembering a romantic walk in the rain with a man I was very attracted to, completely soaked to the bone, from South Bay to Repulse Bay.  I think it was our first date as well. 

I knew he had a girlfriend in Malaysia.  He knew that I knew as well.  We both knew it was a rather inappropriate date.  That didn't stop us from exchanging secret stares of affection.

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Looking Forward to Being in Love Again

Enjoy my space. Enjoy the quietness. Enjoy my freedom. Enjoy being spontaneous.

Yet, there's a part of me that misses holding hands with someone I like, feeling nervous about a date, blushing when someone looks at me with affection, falling asleep with someone's scent still left on my pillow.....

I feel very lucky to be still single - it means I will get to experience all this at least once more before settling down with someone and never get to be in love again. I look forward to being in love again.

A Girl Like Me

A young boy asked me, where can I find a girl like you? You are sweet and caring, you make an ideal girlfriend. I can't believe you are single.

I said, guys usually fall for my silly side but cannot accept me when I am strong, independent and opinionated. I cannot be silly 24/7, I need to stand up for myself and what I believe in when the situation calls for it. When I am pissed off people around me also get really scared without me saying anything. Also, I somehow make men feel like they aren't good enough for me. Perhaps they really aren't..... I don't know why but it happens a lot. Everyone assumes I must have a lot of dates so as a result no one dares pursue me until just recently.

I hope this boy gives up idealizing this girl and finds himself a sweet and simple girl he deserves. A girl like me is not for a boy like him. She needs a wise and experienced man to take good care of her.