Tuesday, December 27, 2011

In the Midst of Hibernation

Finally have a moment to sit down quietly and pick up my iPad to type. It's been a while since I last blogged, but it was not like I didn't have any inspirations to write - I did, but didn't have the time to sit down for it.

I have just been peacefully happy for the first time in my life. Feeling content with things I have and don't have. Most of my life my emotional state was like a yoyo, going from extreme bliss to extreme sadness. Happiness never felt sustainable, like it would be taken away from me any minute. Now I feel calm and happy. It is nice.

Perhaps too much expectations in life does set one up for disappointment. I stopped expecting and people whose insensitive actions otherwise would have hurt my feelings and caused me wasted energy over-thinking ended up having little or no impact on me. I suppose this indicates I have become a wiser woman?! I may have lost the irrational courage to dream, but I haven't wasted my time and energy on unworthy people. Still a gain.

I do, however, secretly wish that in 2012 I will meet someone who is worth my effort to get out of hibernation mode, though I am very comfortably single right now and cannot imagine accepting anyone into my life. Only someone worthy. Nothing less.

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