Loveramics

Long overdue recommendation:  Loveramics.  For my Christmas party's gift exchange, I decided to shop for some special homeware, so I headed to Loveramics for the first time, after hearing about it from other blogs.

The shop is tucked away in a small street in Sheung Wan, off Hollywood Road.  It's the perfect place to buy smart and chic design homeware without a price tag which would give you a heart attack.  I think it's a great place to shop for gift-shopping, if the recipient likes tasteful lifestyle products.  The shop name may be slightly misleading - while it does have a good collection of beautiful ceramic products, they also carry other non-ceramic products.

What I love about the shop is that it surprised me with very smartly design products which are not just pretty to look at, but equally smart in its functions.  I bought myself a ceramic pot with a collapsible silicone lid, which is meant to be perfect for steaming, stewing, or shabu shabu, with the lid's height adjustable to control the heat insulation.  I still haven't tried it out yet, but the idea of it seemed very cool to me :)

It was a small shop, but I still managed to spend more than an hour deciding between many products.  Trust you will enjoy it too.

http://www.loveramics.com/

37 Tung St, 174 Hollywood Road, Central, HK

Opening Hours: 

Hong Kong Concept Store

Tue - Wed 12:00 - 18:00

Thu - Fri 12:00 - 19:00

Weekends 11:00 - 19:00

Mondays closed

Tel: (852) 2915 8018

Dog Owner Responsibilities

In the past few months, I have read numerous dog-related blogs, books and articles to help me better understand how to raise Curly well.  Today I came across this dog trainers blog - http://hk.myblog.yahoo.com/mackdogtraining - and it inspires me to write about my thoughts on dog training.

I do believe it is the basic responsibility of a dog owner - to do his very best to teach the dog "right" from "wrong" in a manner understood and respected by the dog.  There is one school of thought emphasizing the importance of negative reinforcement coupled with positive reinforcement and there is another school of thought which only uses positive reinforcement (and condemns negative reinforcement).  Whichever the approach, for as long as the dog gets it, respects it, and doesn't suffer physical or mental damage, it's a good approach to me.

Like many dog owners I have talked to, I agree that dog training should start as early as possible before an undesirable behaviour gets too deep-rooted to unlearn.  I've seen how my puppy acted like an angry maniac, looking at me with such furious eyes, wishing he could bite my hand off.  And now he is a sweet puppy who can calm down if I do certain things to distract him.  When I go into the kitchen, and he is left outside the baby gate, he still sometimes barks - wanting me to let him in or go to him.  But unlike the nonstop loud barking before, now he barks very little and sits when I shush him, to try and wait patiently for me to finish whatever I am doing in the kitchen.  I can see how hard he's trying.  Sometimes he's body is shaking and he's trying so hard to hold back his bark, and I smile at him :)

My experience with dog training was that it really taught me how to communicate with my dog, and likewise.  How to encourage a calm mind, and trust in me that I knew better what was best for him.  Likewise, through this experience, I gained more respect for him as a dog - instead of yelling at him "it's my way or the highway!", I respect him that as a dog he may really want to do a certain thing, but it's not acceptable in my household or at that time so I would appreciate (with a pet, a praise, a treat) if he could stop.  My sweetie might pout a little if I become a party pooper, but he gets happy again when he has my attention.

I think it was after listening to The Dunbars when I started to understand that certain dog behaviours need to be respected by us humans (for instance, the need to chew during teething stage), and how we gain their respect when we, instead of just saying No to everything, we show them the other option we allow (for instance, chew on the Kong toy) so as to find middle ground.  I think my own Dog Trainer, Ben, mentioned in one of his blog entries that some of his own dogs did bark a bit.  Some dogs are naturally more vocal than others.  Barking in dog world is a natural behavior, it's their way to express their emotions.  Just like as humans, we talk.  If a dog isn't allowed to bark at all, why are we allowed to talk?

All in all, I enjoy the responsibilities of a dog owner.  Making sure he is healthy physically and mentally, and feels safe and content with his life with me.  Ensuring he has sufficient exercise to release his energy.  Socializing him with people and dogs.  Giving him guidance what is "acceptable" in the human world and what is not.  Teaching him obedience, not to stroke my ego, but to ensure that he doesn't become a wild uncontrollable dog in the future.  Giving him attention and affection.  It's a lot of responsibilities but they make me feel very fulfilled.

My Toy Poodle Curly Update

Curly is turning 4 months old next week and I am very excited.  It means getting his third vaccine shot, and being able to start walking him and taking him out to meet friends! 

The first month of raising him was tough.  It was my first time keeping a pup - a very high energy and quick-tempered pup - and being patient and calm certainly was never in my natural genes.  In the end, I hired Trainer Ben to train me and pup.  Originally the intention was to teach him obedience.  Turned out, he was taught a lot of tricks - through which he started to understand rules and obedience.  It has been a great experience teaching him tricks, as it bonded us and gave him a sense of purpose each day - to focus on my combination of commands, follow, and work for his food.  Here's a few clippings of Curly.  I am so proud of Curly and love showing off his videos! 

2011 Year-to-Date

It is scary how quickly time flies!  I still haven't finished my 2010 review, or 2011 goal setting, and it's already March!

Strangely, I spent the last 2 months extremely busy with showing friends from out-of-town around and looking after Curly - both things I extremely enjoyed - but haven't really done anything for myself.  So, now that Curly is about to have his third vaccine shot next week, I should be ready to take him out with me soon, and resume a more outdoorsy lifestyle!

Dragon boat training has started and I really enjoy spending time with those old friends & teammates.  Just that my body is not liking the sport too much causing too much strain on my ligaments.  I haven't decided to continue training or not, or only to show up every once in a while.  Regardless, I really should start finding other interest classes to join, to broaden my social network and pick up a new hobby. 

My First Month Raising a Toy Poodle Puppy

Sorry I haven't been updating my blog as frequently as before.  Life as a new-mom really is tough - but well worth it!

Curly has grown a lot since I took him home a month ago.  Here's a rough bio of my Curly based on my observation:

Temperament:  Excitable, but stubborn.  Short-tempered.  Persistent.  Friendly with strangers. 

Physique: Super active and energetic, very good with physical challenges (jumping/ climbing up and down).  0.81kg on Feb 12.

Appearance: Thick and curly, reddish brown fur.  Big round bum :)  Pouty face. 

Favourite Food: His regular diet, Hill's Pet Small Bites.  He is too young to be given any other food/ treats, except a really tiny bit of cheese treat.

Favourite Spots in the House: (1) Kitchen - he keeps going back there to stand on his hind legs and stare at his food bowl.  (2) Living Room (Rug) - he loves munching on the rug - which makes me quite worried.  (3) Under my bed.  There's all these mesh container bags for clothes that are just so fun for him to bite and play with. 

Skills Mastered: (1) Sit to indicate he is a good boy and deserves food.  (2) Sit and Stay (still struggling a bit with extended stay) to be given food.  (3) Jump up the sofa with help of one cushion below the sofa, and further making his way to top of my sofa.  (This skill is now discouraged by me as I learned that it could be very dangerous for him.)  (4) Whine to earn some sympathy.  (Works sometimes but I try hard to discourage it even though my heart melts.) (5) Pick up his toys with his mouth to run around or play fetch.  He can manage picking up a stuffed toy bigger than him in size, and a heavy set of chewy rubber keys.  (6) Come back when called - except when over-excited or fully engaged with something (e.g. the thought or sight of FOOD). 


Other Positive Behavior: Curly, like all dogs, loves to eat.  He is very healthy and always has great appetite for food (and other chewable things - which to me aren't edible).  Despite such love for food, he isn't overprotective of his food/ food bowl - which could be a sign of insecurity/ lack of trust/ aggression.  In fact, when he is eating, I can not only pet him, but also lift BOTH of his hind legs up (like handstand)!  (Of course this is not recommended - probably bad for digestion.) 
Unless provoked, he is otherwise very affectionate, and always checks on me - even when he's playing in another room, he'd drop his favourite toy to see what I'm doing. 
He fully respects my space when I am in my bedroom, and during bedtime - he doesn't bark much when I am out of sight in my bedroom. 
When eating from my hand (I sometimes use his dog food as treat) - he is gentle and doesn't bite or snatch.  He manages to relieve himself in the right spot (wee pad in his crate) 80% of the time when he is outside of crate, and 100% of the time when he is inside the crate. 
While he isn't crazy about being wiped down by me (with wet wipes) after he poops - since I usually hold him only with one hand and that doesn't always feels the most secure to him - he doesn't bark or resist too much.  He's quite used to me cleaning his paws and bum (very very thoroughly), and inspecting his bum up close (haha, yes).

Bad Behavior - to be corrected: (1) Human biting - Curly is still learning what he can bite and what he can't.  He does have several biting occasions: (a) play biting (b) aggressive/ frustrated biting (c) teething pain relief biting.  Play biting generally appears to be improving - he is slowly refraining from biting when playing, or bites with much lighter pressure than before.  Still, I disapprove of it and lightly tap his mouth and walk away.  When frustrated he still sometimes try to gain control of my body part by grabbing it with his paws and trying to bite.  Of course, I give it a firm no, brush him off and walk away.  Sometimes he bites to help relieve his teething pain - which I try to redirect with a rubber toy and he usually settles for it.  (2) Barking - this has been a major cause of stress.  It's not just about the noise level itself - I am used to having a very quiet home and I am a quiet person  at home - but knowing that he is anxious/ upset when I am out of sight in bathroom or kitchen.  He'd bark very loudly non-stop.  I haven't yet figured out a way to stop it.  Some books/ forums say it's best to ignore the barking to avoid reinforcing it.  Some say that ignoring it could make the dog get used to be unstable emotionally.  Others say that one should shake a can of coins to redirect his attention, or use a spray bottle to startle him.  I've tried most methods and really don't know what is the best way considering I can't do much when I am physically away from him.  I even tried singing in the bathroom, saying NO while taking a shower.... nothing worked.  In fact, I even tried letting him join me in the bathroom, but he got anxious when he got separated from me by the glass shower door!  When he is outside of his crate, he rarely barks though.

I have to admit it has been a lot of more work, effort, patience than I had expected based on what people had told me.  A lot more stress too, from worries, from failure to correct his behavior, from the noise level, etc.  But, like everyone told me, it was well worth it.  Watching him learn new things each day, showing even the tiniest progress changing his "bad" behavior, licking my face, sitting in front of me spontaneously while looking at me with eyes saying "please give me some munchies, mommy"..... my heart melts right away.

Human Nature

Was talking to friend about relationships and I had the following view:

When we are blinded by love, desperate for love, we tend to bet on the odds.  We may have observed some critical character flaws in our partner, but still foolishly choose to turn a blind eye, thinking "love" conquers all, and we'd be immune from being harmed/ attacked by those character traits.

I am of the opinion that people may change their perception and behavior, but rarely their character.  I believe a person's nature and character largely gets carried through life once developed as an adult.  Thus, I would never again give someone's critical character flaw or sneaky nature a second chance.  If a good natured person tells little white lies occasionally to make situations less complicated for everyone, he/she may have a chance to change, if he/she ever sees the need to.  But if a person tends to tell little white lies to cover up his sneaky deeds for his advantage, I personally do not believe there is a high chance that person will easily change that sneaky nature.

Just my personal opinion from my observations and experience. 

Curly's First Day Home

I finally brought Curly home yesterday.  He's super active though whiny when kept behind bars.  I let him come out of the cage to explore the environment, and he already responded to his name and followed me around the living room while I walked zig zag or in circles.  It was a real joy to have a fur ball follow me around.

I tried hard not to be overly affectionate to him yet, and to ignore his whining.  I wish I could tire him out before letting him happily go back to his cage to rest, but since he was still sick afterall, I had little choice but to force him into the cage. 

Luckily he has good appetite and so far he is very well housebroken.  He is also much more affectionate to me now, knowing I am the boss in this household.  I wish for nothing but good health for him and more obedience growing up.

My Toy Poodle Puppy: Curly

Let me introduce:  This is Curly, an emotional toy poodle boy of 10 weeks old.

After Beary left, and a lot of crying thereafter, a very helpful staff, Cat, at Dog One Life helped me find this cute fluffy puppy from a breeder.

I was supposed to pick him up yesterday but he caught a cold and Cat is helping me look after today before I try to bring him home tomorrow.

To prep me to become a responsible owner and leader of Curly, I have also started reading Cesar Millan's books and watching his DVDs. 

I am excitedly looking forward to this new addition to my home and life.  I truly hope the puppy will grow up to be a healthy, happy, well-behaved dog and companion of mine.  In the meantime, I am practising "calm-assertive" energy, and shhh signal for disapproved behaviour.  :)

Officially, The Deceased.

It's embarrassing that I dated a petty guy for 2 years, 2 prime years of my life.  A guy so petty that he deleted my friends and I from facebook.  Is that really necessary?

I feel so bad that I ever introduced him to my closest friends, who treated him like their own close friend for 2+ years.  Even after our breakup, they never bad mouthed him or thought ill of him.  We were all mature enough to accept that not all relationships work out.

So this was the kind of insensitivity I had to deal with on a regular basis for 2 years.  He just never bothered to manage matters more maturely, delicately.  When he realized/ was told his actions hurt my feelings, he would be very upset (at me) for being hurt.  I am very sorry my friends have to deal with it too.  Clearly, he hasn't thought about the awkwardness if he ever bumped into my friends on the street, even the friendliest ones who'd otherwise still greet him like an old friend. 

I never deleted him or his pictures from my facebook because I didn't feel it was necessary.  I didn't love and care about him just because he was my boyfriend at the time, but because I loved and cared about him as a person.  That, to me, was special.

Well, it is good that this happened, so now I can officially accept that I have wasted 2 years of my time on someone completely cold-blooded and cruel, who didn't cherish anything between us.  He is now officially - THE DECEASED.

Rebound Guy/Girl

I don't agree that if a person gets into a new relationship fairly quickly it automatically means he or she is on a rebound.

Having said that, I do notice that typically the person on a rebound tends to date someone (seemingly) without the traits that he or she hated in the ex which likely led to the breakup. Yet, sadly, another commonality in breakup of the new romance is that the new date does not have the positive/admired traits of the ex.

What does this mean? It means that often times we try hard to move on from the breakup and, conscious of the need to learn from the "mistake", we look for someone without those incompatible traits we experienced. However, in the process of searching and learning from "mistake", we sometimes lose sight of what WAS important and what we LOVED about the ex. We subconsciously block out those positive memories of our ex's good qualities to avoid the pain, only to realize later on that while the new date does not possess those negative traits he/she also does not possess the great ones we used to value.

Perhaps, it's not important though. Afterall it's just the healing process of the brokenhearted and the rebound person is merely a timefiller. For this, I wouldn't want to be anyone's rebound girl!

Male-Female Culture Advantage

I had a nice chat about female empowerment in certain cultures in certain era, and the chat led to my discovery of a key gender related cultural difference between South America and many other countries.

My friend, originally from South America, told me that in her culture after a couple gets married they are expected to become closer to the female's side of the family whereas in many other cultures the opposite is true. In her culture, it is common that the boyfriend's parents try to be nice to the girlfriend hoping that after marriage the girl won't entirely snatch the guy away from them.

This to me is very interesting. At least in Chinese culture, it is the other way around. I remember how a guy's parents played a huge role in the fate of my relationship. When they approved of me we totally had their blessing. Once they felt I was making their son angry and emotional, our relationship was doomed. One time the mother got involved in our fight and yelled in my face "you are too sensitive! You stop that!" The son felt empowered and more than once he said to me after that incident "my parents were right about you!". Mind you, this was already a foreign born and raised Chinese. Imagine what a traditional Chinese family is like.

When I told my mom about this difference, she was very much amused and thought it would be great for me to have a future husband who takes care of my family like his own. However, I do feel parents shouldn't try to influence their children's relationship. As for the son, it's great to love his parents but if he listens to his parents rather than himself whether a girl is right for him, even quoting his parents, that is very pathetic. Grow up and be a man!

Lost My Dog, Beary

A few days ago, I lost my first puppy to dog disease, after meeting him 4 times, and having him home for 2.5 hours.  It's a heartbreaking experience.

I posted this on facebook, and while many friends showed their support and concern, this morning I woke up seeing a comment from a good friend: Maybe he doesn't like you!  hehe :P.  I was shocked and was extremely bothered by it the whole day.

Having known this friend for a while, I know she is a nice person and I am certain she didn't mean to upset me.  Though, I also know that she is not particularly passionate about small animals.  So, I can understand that she thought it was like breaking an iPhone on the first day of purchase or something.  That it sucked.

But no, it's not like that.  It's heartbreaking and painful to watch an animal whom you bond with suffer in pain and seek for your comfort and help.  The pup, Beary, had already recognized me after my 2nd visit.  When he was hyperventilating at my home, each time he would try to climb up to my neck to rest his head on my neck for reassurance.  The last day I saw him, at the vet, when I took him from the pet shop staff, he once again climbed up to my neck and fell asleep with his head resting next to my neck.  He was having higher temperature and feeling very sick.  This, I think, is what they call connection.  I didn't see him doing this with any of the store staff or my friend who also held him.

People wonder why I am so attached to this little animal after just spending so little time with him.  I think anyone who has ever had a pet particularly close to him would understand.  I have lived with many animals in my life.... numerous birds, turtles, 4 rabbits, a cat, many fish, but none of those made me feel needed and trusted like Beary did.  For the first time in my life, I felt like I could truly give support to another living creature - and it wasn't because I had done anything to gain its trust and prove my love... I hadn't even had a chance to feed the little thing.  It just trusted me and felt safe with me.

Some friends told me to go to SPCA or Hong Kong Dog Rescue to get another dog.  I am fully pro-adoption, but for me, getting my first dog is a special thing to me.  It's not like I just want A dog, ANY dog... I want a dog I am genuinely excited about and feel a connection with.  I love Golden Retrievers, for example, but I cannot afford the time and energy to accommodate their active lifestyle needs.  I like tollers, but they can't be found in Hong Kong, not to mention at the Dog Rescue.  I like some poodles, but I am only excited about certain ones I... just like... and they are likely to be quite young.  Adopting dogs is a very respectful thing to do.  But at this stage in my life, without any dog raising experience, I am not ready to get a dog for the sake of saving a life, I want to first keep a dog whose breed and temperament suits my lifestyle and whose presence excites me.  I don't know how to explain this to others without being misunderstood.  It's like, I am totally pro-adoption of babies (human) and if my future husband is equally supportive, I would go for it.  Though most people do prefer to have their own when there are so many kids out there who need a loving family.  There you go. Who am I to tell people not to have their own but to adopt?!

Past two days I went to see a silverish dog in a very reputable shop which directly took from breeder and kept for me to consider.  The shopgirl explained how special and rare the color was for a poodle, how healthy and active that dog was, and my friends told me how cute the dog looked......  I thought to myself for a while, perhaps I should just get this one since it's a very healthy dog and I wouldn't need to go through the heartbreak from keeping a younger pup.  Last minute, when I had to make the decision, I told the staff I wasn't sure about the dog and they should sell it to others.  The fact was, the dog was cute but I didn't feel special chemistry with him.  As smart and active as he was, I felt so much pressure having to outsmart him and dominate each interaction.  Though the Beary incident was so painful - it's been 2 days and I am still crying - I still believe that I shouldn't just settle for a supposedly "good" dog.  I don't care if my dog is rare and will be praised by others.  I just want a dog who can share that bond I had with Beary.  I honestly don't know what I did to gain his trust, but my friends and the staff saw how Beary wanted to be close to me especially when he was very sick.

This experience really makes me understand how precious a bond is between a human and his dog.  Unlike humans, it really is unconditional. 

Gingerbread Man Cookies for a Very Merry Xmas

Wishing you all a Merry Christmas!  I am looking forward to mine as I will be hosting a special New Year's Eve Kinect Party at my place and I will be cooking mulled wine, giving out my gingerbread man cookies, baking sweet potato fries and chicken wings for some of my closest friends in Hong Kong.

Here's some pictures of my gingerbread man creations :)  I love mine with lots of colors like they are in Hawaii or something haha!

Merry Christmas!  Put all sadness behind you and get into the festive mood!

Dear Stefan

Dear Stefan,

This is a note which will never reach you because it will never be sent out.

I had a weird dream last night with you in it. I was in my favorite restaurant and there you were sitting right across from me at the same table. As stunned as me, you tried to get close to talk to me but I didn't say anything. Then the scene faded out. Next thing I knew, I was running back to the restaurant trying to look for you but you weren't there anymore. I wanted so bad to find you and talk to you - about what? I don't know. I just needed to find you badly.

I woke up feeling awful. Awful that my mind betrayed me and let you creep into my dream? Awful that you will always just stay in my dream? I don't know. I just felt awful most of the day. Occasionally I would still suddenly get a weird "hunch" and turn around to see if you might be there, after 3 years now, but I have stopped actively thinking about you for a while, which is a great accomplishment.

I seriously thought about going to the hypnotist and ask for all traces of memory of you be removed. But I didn't because I knew I'd regret for life.

I cannot explain why I wouldn't forgive someone for being mean or sneaky, but would so easily forgive you or K for breaking my heart. I cannot explain why I forgave your weakness which I so despised.

I don't know why I want to see you again but I do. And it's not like why I would want to meet with K again, because I deeply care about him but I can't say the same for you anymore. Perhaps that was why you left. Because we couldn't explain why we were drawn to each other. Perhaps it didn't seem real enough. Perhaps it didn't feel real enough because it wasn't ordinary enough.

Dress Warm and Slim for the Cold Weather

Hong Kong's temperature has suddenly dropped from yesterday afternoon's 20C to today's 8C.  Having lived in a very cold country before, 8C doesn't scare me but I have to admit that without central heating in Hong Kong, plus the high humidity, 8C does feel much colder than it is. 

It amuses me to see short women dressed in thick, shapeless down jacket, and buried under layers and layers of clothing.  Today, I went to work wearing just 3 layers - a wool coat, a cashmere wide neck top, and a thermal camisole.  I felt very warm already.  OK, I did have a soft scarf as well.  Still, that was a lot fewer layers than others and my clothing was still flattering and slimming!

I think women need to learn to buy fewer quantities but invest in quality clothing.  It's pointless trying to layer with cotton or polyester sweaters because that wouldn't keep them warm!  What they need is warm and light fabric!  Do invest in some cashmeres for winter, and add a form fitting thermal wear underneath for added warmth. Marks & Spencer has a great selection of thermal wear and some items look quite pretty, like the camisoles with lace.  Thermal doesn't mean ski wear!  I used to imagine thick black liners but they are nothing like that!  Check it out, really.  You won't regret it.  They also have thermal tights which are perfect if you are going to snowy places.

More iPhone 4 camera and photo editing apps

Two months ago I wrote about the various iPhone 4 compatible camera apps.  Since then I've experimented with a few more apps, some being camera apps, some being photo editing apps.  I'd like to share them here today.

So last time I recommended Hipstamatic, LENSES, LOFI, Polarize, Color Splash, True HDR, and ToonCamera.  My latest camera app favourite is LOMO.  Cos it's very easy to use, fakes a vignette, and you can either choose a normal output versus various color effects (which I rarely use unless I am going for a more artistic feel).

The Victoria Prison collage on the left was also created (on my PC using Picasa 3) with snapshots taken with LOMO app.  Since the prison was very eerie, I used quite a lot of the effects I normally wouldn't use to "beautiful" a scary prison.  It is amazing despite low light and not using a flash, the colors really pop!

Apart from camera apps, I do use some fun apps to edit my iPhone snapshots on the iPhone.  My favourites are PhotoFunia, PS Express and Comic Strip.

PhotoFunia doesn't actually edit your pictures.  It combines your picture with a selected funny background (see below):

PS Express is a simplified version of Photoshop.  You can do simple cropping, enhancing brightness, saturation, etc., and you can add borders/frames to your pictures.  There are also a few photo effects but I am not a big fan.

Comic Strip is a fun app.  You can use a few pictures to form like a comic strip and add shout outs to your pictures.

Finally, I have a doodling app called Doodle Buddy which is fun to use for simple drawings or to use it to insert some text boxes to a pictures.  

Drawing for myself

A card for my friend

 Have fun!  I think most of these apps are free, but please check with iTunes.

I hate 小氣鬼

Ten minutes ago, I put my foot down and blocked a former friend/ occasional suitor/ former fling from my Whatsapp, MSN, and am considering removing him from my facebook list altogether.

Some of my close friends have already heard a lot about this guy: how he didn't pursue me for months after we met and then bitched about me hooking up with other guys, how he offended me by calling me Hongkie and refusing to apologize even after I explained to him the meaning, how we agreed to make plans for a Saturday night and the day before he said he invited some friends and asked if I'd like to join.....  All these happened a while ago and we hadn't really been in touch lately.

Last weekend, I suddenly got some random messages from this guy on Whatsapp, and I replied with "huh?" as I was completely clueless.  He replied with, "nothing."  This repeated three times in a row within 20 minutes.  So I ignored his messages assuming he was being weird or he might have sent me messages by mistake.

Just now, he sent me some random message, and we exchanged some silly, meaningless messages.... when I mentioned the lack of a handsome guy emoticon on iPhone, he sent me a picture of a man.  The man in the picture looked like he was in his late 30's, serious, mature, face a little chubby, skin a bit rough, banker/ businessman looking...  I spoke my mind and said,"who is that?  He looks very scary."  He replied,"Sexy.  Your English is going downhill."  I replied,"who is he?  He really scares me."  He said,"that's me!"  I said,"no way!  The face doesn't look like you.  The skin condition doesn't look like you.  Those glasses aren't even yours!"  He said,"it's me!"  (Okay I have to admit that I was stupid and still didn't believe it was him and I did say,"What?!!!  No way!!  What happened?  That doesn't look like you at all!"  (I guess "what happened" did it.)  Suddenly he said,"okay I'm going to bed.  Good night."  I replied,"what?!  That's so rude of you!"  He then said I was mean to make fun of him.  I tried to explain, but without luck, and finally told him not to ever message me again.

Jesus Christ!  I really had no friggin clue that was him!  I did re-open that picture 4 times for a close look, and I was damn sure that wasn't him!  Last time I saw him was a few months ago and he still looked exactly the same as he had always looked - young, cheeky, quite good-looking, and with rather nice skin.  How would I know he became fat and bloated and old in just 2 months?!  I immediately went on facebook to check his latest pictures - and indeed in his last three pictures he looked 8 years older and 1.5 times his normal size.

Regardless, I've put up with a lot of his spoiled brat shit for a long time.  I decided that was it!  I had to cut him off and not let him upset me anymore.  As much as I occasionally had fun times with him, he really is too weird and spoiled and immature for me, even as a friend.  I am so sick of immature guys who have no clue how to treat a girl nicely and with respect.

Let me start my year afresh!

A Tribute to the Best Pick-Up Artists

If I were a guy, I would aspire to be an ultra smooth pickup artist.

Being a female, I never cease to be impressed by advanced pickup skills and technique.  I think it is indeed an art!

The best pickup artists need to possess certain qualities: Decisiveness, Focus, Efficiency, Confidence, Small Ego, Eloquence, Spontaneity, Outstanding Observation, Friendly & Harmless Impression, Persistence.  Let me cite a real example:

Today my female friend and I were walking quite fast along Staunton Street.  Suddenly, a friendly voice came from behind me,"you don't feel cold wearing that in this weather?  I'm wearing a sweater!"  I turned around and saw this middle aged Australian man walking behind me at the same pace as me, and I replied with a laugh,"yeah it is indeed a real pain figuring out how to dress for this temperature! Wool seems too hot, T-shirt seems too thin....."  The man kept walking with us, as if we had been walking together as friends all along, and started talking about the weather and his sweater.  When he noticed I wasn't responsive to that, he asked,"so what plans have you girls got for the day?"  We pretended we didn't hear him and kept walking.   He then changed the topic,"have you heard of Detour at the Victoria Prison?  I wonder if it's worth checking out.  I used to work at the Central Police Station but never got around to checking out the prison itself."  At that time my friend and I have already turned left to walk down to Hollywood Road, and I replied (while still walking),"oh it's wonderful, you really should check it out.  You actually should walk back up to enter from Old Bailey Street instead of walking down in our direction.  You'll get to see some interesting exhibits and check out the prison cells."  Noticing that he got our attention when he mentioned Detour, he mentioned once again,"I used to work in the Police Station around the corner but never checked out the prison....."  Still walking, we ignored him and he finally gave up.  He was actually really smooth, but too bad he was old, ugly and fat.  If he had been cute, we might have considered going to the tour with him.

So, what was so great about his pick-up skills?
Decisiveness - Often times you only have a few seconds to decide whether or not to pursue a girl when the opportunity arises, whether in the street, in the elevator, at the pedestrian crossing.....  If you can't make up your mind, you wasted the opportunity.
Focus & Efficiency - Once you decide to pursue, you need to stay focused, with the ultimate objective of picking up the girl.  You need to get her attention, earn her trust, and get her number/ get her to join you for a drink, etc.  In the process, you need to be extremely efficient as you don't have all day to pick her up.  So you are competing with time.  You need to find the hot button as quickly as possible.
Confidence and Small Ego - Put down your ego - to get a girl's attention you cannot be arrogant or shy.  You won't see her again, so nothing to be embarrassed about.  You've got nothing to lose.  Give it all you got!
Spontaneity - Often times, golden pick-up opportunities arise out of the blue.  Depending on the situation, you improvise and ride on the occasion.
Eloquence - The best pick-up lines are non-scripted ones.  You've got to work with the situation and say the right things to get her attention.  It needs to be something relevant.  Like the above example, he talked about my interesting choice of outfit for that weather, and asked about Detour at Victoria Prison - something artsy, cultural and hence high hit rate.
Outstanding Observation - You need to observe the behaviour of the target and talk about something as relevant as possible to her in order to warm her up and generate interest to respond.
Friendly & Harmless Impression - Girls are taught at a young age not to talk to strangers, especially men.  So to get us to talk to you, you certainly need to appear harmless and friendly.  You cannot look like criminal, a rapist, a crook.  You also need to have the ability to get near to the girl's comfortable physical distance without startling her.  You then work on gaining her trust.
Persistence - You may not get her attention with the first shot.  But you must not give up so hastily.  Persist!  Keep trying with the amount of time you got until you have a good chance of closing the deal.

I have high respect for those who are good at this art, as it is indeed quite appealing to me a guy's assertiveness and confidence to do this sort of thing.  I am a traditional female - I love being pursued and admired.  I think I have fallen for some of the most advanced pick-up technique many times - of course very selectively - and have been in relationships with those "artists" afterwards!  I suppose it's exactly because most guys I meet in social events, who expressed their interest in me to mutual friends - are afraid to pursue me, and it really turns me off they have such little self-confidence, hence I particularly am impressed by those who dare to just walk up to me and pick me up!


Salute to the world's best pick-up artists!  We need more guys like you!

Ex, don't feel bad that I'm single

I find it quite funny that every once in a while, completely out of the blue, an ex from centuries ago would suddenly appear out of nowhere to "chat", and eventually leading to the same question: if I am married, if I am attached, etc.  It's so predictable, each time a long-ago ex sends me a message, I time that person how long it takes him to "pop the question" - so how are you doing? - and I automatically offer the information he is seeking.

I honestly don't know the ultimate reason for wanting to know my latest status.  Out of true concern?  Out of vengeance?  ('Cos I might have been a bitch to some when I was much younger?)  Out of competition?  (Hoping I haven't yet found The One sooner than they have?)

It's quite funny how some of them sound very worried about me.  "You deserve a nice guy."  "I don't understand why you can still be single."  "I really hope to see you happily married."  The funny thing is, usually the worried ones are those I wasn't very nice to.  When I hear their concern, I am sometimes tempted to say to them,"I was so spoiled back then, and was quite cruel to you.  You didn't ever see the mature me who is so caring, loving, giving, forgiving!  Why should you worry about that bitch from years ago?"  (In fact, as I am writing this, my first boyfriend ever is now messaging me on MSN and the last time we chatted was probably 4 years ago!  He got married years ago and now has a 4.5 year old kid in Toronto.  I was quite a bitch to him when I was 20.  I really was so spoiled and cruel.)

In any case, I appreciate those who truly think I deserve love and happiness from love.  Perhaps, after so many years, they finally forgave me for hurting them, realized I probably got hurt in the process as well, and remembered me by my true nature.

To everyone I have ever loved and treasured deeply, I hope one day you will finally remember me as the girl you fell in love with.....
Her eyes.
Her smile.
Her mischief.
Her silliness.
Her cheekiness.
Her singing in the shower.
Her passion.
Her devotion.
Her sweetness.
Her love. 

Forget her pain.  Forget... her tears.

Writer's Block? Blogger's Fear?

Haven't been updating my blog as frequently as I had used to - especially after having iPhone 4 which demands so much of my attention!  ;)  Well, it's only part of the reason, but indeed I have been using my laptop a lot less than before.

I suppose I have been keeping myself quite occupied with a variety of little things, hmm....like reading ebooks, the dog book, watching US TV shows, watering my many plants and looking after cut flowers, cooking for myself, meeting up with close friends, etc. so I have been spending less time contemplating life and mourning over whatever I had occasionally mourned over. 

One other key reason is that it has become increasingly difficult to write - being conscious of the fact that some of my blog entries have made it to the first page of google search results, like if you search for "Victoria Prison Detour", and it increases the chance of an acquaintance stumbling onto my blog and noticing my face in some of the pictures. 

I know I'm supposed to keep writing whatever I want to write about, being a "blogger".  Though, in reality, I do not live in my own little world disconnected from rest of the society.  It's not so much about worrying what others think, but the consequences of that.  I think overall I am a person with no secrets - but that doesn't mean I tell everything to everyone, I share certain things with certain people and not with others.  Hypothetically speaking, if I were job hunting and wrote about it and my own teammates read about it, that certainly would not be good for me or for the team's morale.  Again, hypothetically speaking, if I were interested in a guy I just met, and he read about my painful?  complicated? past, that wouldn't be good for me either - and certainly not be good for him since he'd miss out on such a great, loving, sweet, entertaining girl! LOL

I suppose I am still trying to find the right balance between sensitivity and honest expression of my thoughts.