Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Staying Single Does Not Mean I Screwed Up My Life

No one has the right to judge that a woman is screwing up her life by being single over 30.  

This is in response to my earlier posting, "And She Lived Ordinarily Ever After", and my friend's comment.  The more I think about my ex's comment, the more furious I get.  It was not even pity that he expressed, it was disapproval of my snobbish behaviour, stuck-up mentality, and concern for my miserable self-inflicted consequences.

I may be selective, but I am not snobbish.  All these years, I have given different guys a chance, even the most unlikely ones.  I have dated men of such different personalities and styles, no one can say that I am not open-minded.  I have even dated some whose personalities I actually despise now.  (Watch out for my upcoming posting on "Mutant Men".)

I may be single, I may be alone, but I am not miserable and I don't feel lonely.  I am living a content life, with a few great friends, and plenty others who care about me.  I travel, I work, I cook, I eat, I play, I laugh..... 

Plenty other women out there share my experience, and they too should not be judged.  If we had forced ourselves to stay in dead-end relationships, just so we would be married today and with kids, THAT would have truly screwed up our lives.  Nobody knows how people will change in the future, and how relationships will develop.  At least at the time, the relationship was not working out, or the date was truly horrible, we accepted the sad reality and coped with the change.

So, Mr. Ex, I do not envy your life, or your wife.  I once regretted dumping you 8 years ago, and in hindsight, I made the right decision.  I want a husband who supports me through my pregnancy and the different stages of raising a child, not someone who goes out with buddies to play golf or poker while I try to manage the newborn.  I want a husband who is not as shallow, thinking a woman should just randomly find someone to marry.

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