Float

Slowly, I am getting used to being alone and not feeling far too lonely.  I still miss sharing life with him a lot, but I am gradually finding peace in solitude as well.

I have decided to let go of all tension and pressure to do what I am "supposed" to do.  Not forcing myself to hang out, meet guys, do things for the sake of doing them.

Perhaps I have fallen too hard, and now regaining my composure, it feels surprisingly nice and peaceful to completely go with the flow, taking everything easy.

I read when I want to read.
Cook soup for myself when I crave for soup.
Drag my friend Stephen to watch TV with me when I want to catch up on Lost and House.
Light candles when I want to feel romantic.
Smoke when I want to smoke.
Invite friends to my pad for drinks when I want to entertain.
Join some associations' activities and events when I feel like being around new faces.
Watch How I Met Your Mother when I feel like a good laugh.

I stopped actively seeking for answers, meaning, purpose.  Just trying to rest my mind and soul as much as I can.  Allowing myself to float.....