Thursday, August 12, 2010

Bad Dream

This morning, I dreamed of breaking up with Kevin (all over again) who lived with me in the attic of a house.  In the dream, I went to find my friend, Dawn, for emotional support, and she walked me to the home I shared with Kevin (in the dream).

I vaguely remember it was a bit emotional, but far less than the actual breakup I experienced.  In the dream, I was trying so hard to think of ways to communicate with him, to calm him down.

I didn't cry after I woke up from the dream.  Just a hint of sadness, experiencing the breakup again.

I still feel very sorry about the breakup because I can be with someone else and in similar situations as before when I was with Kevin, yet not end up in fights at all.  Or any silly fights can be easily resolved within hours.  I feel very sorry every single disagreement seemed like such a big deal.  I feel sorry we didn't have a happy ending.  I wanted so much to have a happy life with him.

Now I'm in tears.

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