I have been seriously considering getting a dog AGAIN, and this time around, I even started watching an episode of dog tv show, Dog Whisperer, and reading Cesar Millan's Be the Pack Leader. The book and the TV show keep referring to dogs as pack animals - who care about the overall well-being of the group as opposed to individual dog's benefit. Today, when my friend invited me over to join her and her boyfriend for a boxing day dinner, while feeling extremely grateful for the very sweet thought, I thought of the concept of pack animals.
I do notice that there's some people around me who are always motherly, very willing to take care of people around them, who proactively offer to help or even just bond; while at the other end of the spectrum there are people who care a lot more about their own interests and well-being - not that they are selfish or anything - who are happily content not connecting with others until something unfortunate happens and they need support from friends.
I am not passing judgment here what is the right value. When thinking about this pack animal concept, I just realize that as individualistic as I used to be when growing up, and as much as I used to spend time alone, I actually am a pack animal and I bond so much better with people who enjoy the companionship of people apart from their intimate partner - people who genuinely care about their friends through action rather than just words.
It's hard to be "thirty-something and single", but I much prefer to live my life doing things I enjoy, listening to my heart (since I am already a rather rational person), spending time with friends - new and old alike - who make my time spent worthwhile, rather than forcing myself to throw myself at any Tom, Dick and Jerry, and begging friends to hang out.
If I have had any personal accomplishments this year, I did get out of my comfort zone to join a new dragonboat team, reached out to a completely new social circle, made some new friendships with like-minded and genuine people both at work and off work, and learned that I didn't have to live in isolation from the world without a boyfriend. I did have some very good times this year, and through pain from separation, I learned to embrace dearly ever single happy moment I experienced.
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Pamper Yourself: Aesop Ginger Root Soap Slab
Went to Aesop shop with my friend and by chance I learned about this soap bar which smells heavenly! The one I got was Ginger Root Soap Slab, it smells like mix of ginger, lavender and geranium - very invigorating as if you just came out of a spa. Costs a little over HKD100 for a huge slab, you can cut it into smaller blocks to use. It's costly to go to a spa in the city every week, but for about $100 I can take many daily spa-scented relaxing showers! Hope you enjoy it as much as I do.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Film I look forward to: Chico and Rita
Thanks to friend, Dion, here's a movie I am looking forward to.
Monday, November 29, 2010
DETOUR 2010: Victoria Prison Open to Public
It was Detour 2010 - Victoria Prison open day with art exhibition, creative workshops, and art fair. The event runs from Nov 26 to Dec 12, 2010. For details, please visit http://www.detour.hk/.
It was an interesting tour around this historical, colonial building. While it was certainly exciting in a very eerie way checking out the prison house, the various modern art exhibits were visually stimulating and creative. There was also an interactive painting workshop allowing anyone to pick up a pot of paint and a paintbrush to help complete the project. It was my first time in 20 years picking up a paintbrush and I certainly enjoyed the fun.With more and more art & heritage events happening in town, there's no longer excuses for anyone to stay home on weekends and complain that Hong Kong is boring.
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Open Letter to Facebook: Erase My History!
Dear Facebook,
I went to watch The Social Network and as much as I understand some parts are fictional, and other parts dramatized, I liked it very much.
It has been great having an open platform to share information with other "friends" however close or distant, since the day I became a member in 2007. While I haven't been the most supportive when it comes to playing your game application partners' games like Farmville, Mafia Wars, etc. - I have blocked these applications and sometimes along with the "friends" who sent me those annoying requests - I have been a very active and supportive member of facebook in terms of updating status, checking newsfeed, making comments, updating my relationship status, and of course uploading thousands of pictures of mine.
Yet, the more information I have accumulated on FB, the more difficult it is to manage accessibility of such information by my new "friends" - especially potential suitors. My very "rich" dating history has always been transparent to older "friends" but certainly my new "friends" don't always need to know so much about my past - one can map out my dating timeline with key names & faces & significant events. (Now this is an idea for a fab app if it's not already available).
I would certainly appreciate one of the below functions to avoid such future embarrassment:
(1) A simple function to search one's all past interactions with a "friend", from pictures tagged together, to wall messages exchanged, to comments on pictures, pictures of that "friend" posted by and vice versa - and SELECTIVELY REMOVE SUCH HISTORY from he/her FB page.
(2) To keep all such history but either
a. Block one's history with a certain "friend" from a new "friend".
b. Block one's new "friend" from seeing any of his/her past information/ postings/ tags before a certain date in his/her life. (E.g. before the day she broke up with an ex.)
If your platform is so successful in allowing people to share information easily anytime, anywhere, please also enable comparable ease of removing/blocking/hiding information we don't wish to share with everyone.
Your consideration is much appreciated.
PS: I believe dictionaries should give "friend" a new official definition - Facebook has redefined the meaning of friend to any contact one establishes as a connection on Facebook.
Sincerely,
Tea Yee
I went to watch The Social Network and as much as I understand some parts are fictional, and other parts dramatized, I liked it very much.
It has been great having an open platform to share information with other "friends" however close or distant, since the day I became a member in 2007. While I haven't been the most supportive when it comes to playing your game application partners' games like Farmville, Mafia Wars, etc. - I have blocked these applications and sometimes along with the "friends" who sent me those annoying requests - I have been a very active and supportive member of facebook in terms of updating status, checking newsfeed, making comments, updating my relationship status, and of course uploading thousands of pictures of mine.
Yet, the more information I have accumulated on FB, the more difficult it is to manage accessibility of such information by my new "friends" - especially potential suitors. My very "rich" dating history has always been transparent to older "friends" but certainly my new "friends" don't always need to know so much about my past - one can map out my dating timeline with key names & faces & significant events. (Now this is an idea for a fab app if it's not already available).
I would certainly appreciate one of the below functions to avoid such future embarrassment:
(1) A simple function to search one's all past interactions with a "friend", from pictures tagged together, to wall messages exchanged, to comments on pictures, pictures of that "friend" posted by and vice versa - and SELECTIVELY REMOVE SUCH HISTORY from he/her FB page.
(2) To keep all such history but either
a. Block one's history with a certain "friend" from a new "friend".
b. Block one's new "friend" from seeing any of his/her past information/ postings/ tags before a certain date in his/her life. (E.g. before the day she broke up with an ex.)
If your platform is so successful in allowing people to share information easily anytime, anywhere, please also enable comparable ease of removing/blocking/hiding information we don't wish to share with everyone.
Your consideration is much appreciated.
PS: I believe dictionaries should give "friend" a new official definition - Facebook has redefined the meaning of friend to any contact one establishes as a connection on Facebook.
Sincerely,
Tea Yee
The Deceased - Friendship in Relationship Rarely Lasts
A friend of mine debated with me a few months ago whether ex's could remain friends. I argued that they could. A few months later, I realized what a freak my boyfriend from a few years ago was - the one who sneakily threw my phone onto the floor when I caught him checking my phone. Now I realize even my 2-year ex is not my friend.
It really sucks to realize that I spent 2 years with someone, treating him like family, like the most precious thing to me, he is afterall "the deceased" - in Brazilian portuguese, they call ex's who are no longer somebody "the deceased". For months I thought he was still a great friend deep down and we cared about each other as friends. Then he came over this morning, broke some news to me, made me cry (which I didn't and don't blame him for) - and to top it off he once again said that he hadn't done anything wrong but I made him feel bad about it. Yes, it was apparently evil of me to feel hurt, because it appeared to him a passive-aggressive way to make him feel guilty.
It was after that I realized that he was never a true friend to me. All that time I was with him, he did so many unintentional but extremely hurtful things to me - and when he felt bad about it he accused me of making him feel bad. If he had been a true friend, he wouldn't have hurt me the way he had in the first place. He would have avoided it. He would have thought about consequences of his words before saying things like,"my parents were right about you!"
I only truly realize now that friendship in relationships rarely means anything after the relationships die. I have also become "the deceased" to them. My feelings don't matter at all.
It really sucks to realize that I spent 2 years with someone, treating him like family, like the most precious thing to me, he is afterall "the deceased" - in Brazilian portuguese, they call ex's who are no longer somebody "the deceased". For months I thought he was still a great friend deep down and we cared about each other as friends. Then he came over this morning, broke some news to me, made me cry (which I didn't and don't blame him for) - and to top it off he once again said that he hadn't done anything wrong but I made him feel bad about it. Yes, it was apparently evil of me to feel hurt, because it appeared to him a passive-aggressive way to make him feel guilty.
It was after that I realized that he was never a true friend to me. All that time I was with him, he did so many unintentional but extremely hurtful things to me - and when he felt bad about it he accused me of making him feel bad. If he had been a true friend, he wouldn't have hurt me the way he had in the first place. He would have avoided it. He would have thought about consequences of his words before saying things like,"my parents were right about you!"
I only truly realize now that friendship in relationships rarely means anything after the relationships die. I have also become "the deceased" to them. My feelings don't matter at all.
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Things which make me happy - Quality Time with Family
I didn't write about this earlier, because it hasn't really hit me yet. Some of you know about my family relationship, that I had a rather unpleasant childhood, witnessing a loveless marriage, brother was rebellious, mom depressed, etc. For years my dad felt that we were his burden.
I think last year I went to see an Australian psychic, who told my entire childhood story as if he had witnessed everything, and said it was time for me to bring my family back together. Back then I was going through a very emotional period with my then boyfriend, and for the first time I shared that with my family. Since then I became closer to my brother.
A few months ago, I thought of an idea and encouraged my brother to come back to HK for a visit, so that the whole family could spend time together - 6 years after his last visit. On Saturday, when I was meeting up with my parents - something we do only once very few months - I messaged my brother and told him we were having dim sum, so that he could feel part of it. That evening, I also posted a collage of the day, which moved my brother and led him to write a very very long and emotional email to us, explaining to us why he'd been quiet lately, and apologizing for causing so much sadness in the family for years when he was growing up. I didn't reply to that email at first, because it was too heavy to once again bring back memories of my childhood. Yet, to my surprise, my dad replied. My dad - a very stubborn character who could not take any criticisms. He actually replied and accepted responsibility for not properly treating my brother's ADHD (hyperactive disorder) when he was young because my brother as a kid didn't want to see the child psychologist after just one session. I read the email and closed it, without really allowing myself to react to it. I think my mind was trying to block out my emotions to protect me or something. One day later, just an hour ago when I read my friend's facebook note about her visiting her grandmother anonymously since she had run away from home years ago, I wrote her an email trying to show her my support - which then turned into me sharing with her my experience with my family lately, the email and all that. When writing about it, I started crying. And I am crying again now as I write. It is very emotional for me to write or think about my family because while each one of us is actually quite passionate and emotional as a person, all our lives we shared so little emotions towards our own family. We were very reserved when it came to showing love for each other. We cared a lot about each other but we showed it either through nagging or annoyance when the person wouldn't listen. I think among the four of us, my mom was already the more expressive one - but she only became expressive when my brother and I became grown-ups and she was no longer depressed. In my childhood, my mom was full of anger and sadness.
So here's a picture of me and my parents spending an afternoon together:
I took them to a quiet dim sum restaurant, then to Times Square to look for a duffel bag with heels for my dad to drag his clothes and tennis racquet to the tennis court (we couldn't find one) and ended up getting Mom a white, light, soft fleece jacket from North Face, and a cool looking fleece hoodie for Dad from Marks & Spencer. We then shopped for some cookies and candies in Marks & Spencer, bought some ryebread for Mom in a Japanese bakery (my parents love bread), and finally I dragged (we were all tired from all the walking) them to Central to have a Holly Brown coffee. My mom loves coffee.
It was a rare happy day we had together as a family, actually doing stuff we all enjoyed. Normally it would be me going to their place for dinner and leaving after two hours to catch the shuttle bus back home (they live almost 2 hours away from me).
Perhaps we are all getting old. We know that there won't be a lot of time left to spend together. My dad is 77, my mom around 67. It's about time to forget the unhappy past, and focus on spending happier times together in the present and near future. And, showing our love and care.
I think last year I went to see an Australian psychic, who told my entire childhood story as if he had witnessed everything, and said it was time for me to bring my family back together. Back then I was going through a very emotional period with my then boyfriend, and for the first time I shared that with my family. Since then I became closer to my brother.
A few months ago, I thought of an idea and encouraged my brother to come back to HK for a visit, so that the whole family could spend time together - 6 years after his last visit. On Saturday, when I was meeting up with my parents - something we do only once very few months - I messaged my brother and told him we were having dim sum, so that he could feel part of it. That evening, I also posted a collage of the day, which moved my brother and led him to write a very very long and emotional email to us, explaining to us why he'd been quiet lately, and apologizing for causing so much sadness in the family for years when he was growing up. I didn't reply to that email at first, because it was too heavy to once again bring back memories of my childhood. Yet, to my surprise, my dad replied. My dad - a very stubborn character who could not take any criticisms. He actually replied and accepted responsibility for not properly treating my brother's ADHD (hyperactive disorder) when he was young because my brother as a kid didn't want to see the child psychologist after just one session. I read the email and closed it, without really allowing myself to react to it. I think my mind was trying to block out my emotions to protect me or something. One day later, just an hour ago when I read my friend's facebook note about her visiting her grandmother anonymously since she had run away from home years ago, I wrote her an email trying to show her my support - which then turned into me sharing with her my experience with my family lately, the email and all that. When writing about it, I started crying. And I am crying again now as I write. It is very emotional for me to write or think about my family because while each one of us is actually quite passionate and emotional as a person, all our lives we shared so little emotions towards our own family. We were very reserved when it came to showing love for each other. We cared a lot about each other but we showed it either through nagging or annoyance when the person wouldn't listen. I think among the four of us, my mom was already the more expressive one - but she only became expressive when my brother and I became grown-ups and she was no longer depressed. In my childhood, my mom was full of anger and sadness.
So here's a picture of me and my parents spending an afternoon together:
It was a rare happy day we had together as a family, actually doing stuff we all enjoyed. Normally it would be me going to their place for dinner and leaving after two hours to catch the shuttle bus back home (they live almost 2 hours away from me).
Perhaps we are all getting old. We know that there won't be a lot of time left to spend together. My dad is 77, my mom around 67. It's about time to forget the unhappy past, and focus on spending happier times together in the present and near future. And, showing our love and care.
My Bittersweet Journey
I haven't been updating my blog as often as before, partly because I haven't been using my laptop much these days (thanks to quick internet surfing on iPhone4), and partly because I have been going through some emotional ups and downs lately - not extreme lows, just occasional blues especially at the thought of Christmas and New Year's Eve.
I've been thinking a lot about the feeling of loneliness, friends drifting apart, love lost and forgotten, uncertainty about where life would be leading me, and so on and so forth. Never in my life I felt so insecure about the present and the future. I've always had faith in finding someone special to walk with me into the unknown future eventually, and that faith was reassuring. Then January came.....whatever happened happened.... I still hope that person exists in my future, but it's merely a hope, or even a dream, instead of an expectation. I never experienced true loneliness, as for years I had single friends to stick around as a support group for one another. Then friends moved on, having their own family lives, or new exciting circles. These days, even if I try to arrange some gatherings, I may not even have anyone turn up.
Though, thanks to my special friend who offered me company and even her guest bedroom should I need to crash her place during these festive days as a third wheel. It was very touching for her to offer that. I truly appreciate that. Thanks for truly caring, and actually trying to help me feel better.
Work hasn't been too hectic, but not extremely rewarding either. It used to be better when I had my mentor around for some support. Now I turn to my peers (a few trusted ones) to moan - not advisable but there's no one else I can talk to about work. So, yes, for a while I've been feeling pretty lonely at work.
Despite feeling lonely and all that, this year has been an amazing one for me to get out of my little shell to connect with people, share my thoughts and hear others' stories. I've been actively meeting friends and trying to get to a selected few better and vice versa. These aren't just random people who are weird and all that, but interesting, intelligent people I could have a good time with. I don't remember myself being so open about meeting new friends before. For many years my core group of friends had stayed the same - until they started drifting apart that is. Perhaps this really is a transformation year for me, to reach out and connect with people outside of my own small circle, share with people my thoughts on happiness. Each time I receive a new "like" for my "Things that make me happy" album from some acquaintance who hardly ever talks to me on facebook or in person, it still brings a smile to my face because I know I successfully touched one more person around me. The personal project of mine to make it bigger is still on. I am exploring possibility of turning it into an ebook, and expanding the scope of the exploration/ research of happiness.
I've been thinking a lot about the feeling of loneliness, friends drifting apart, love lost and forgotten, uncertainty about where life would be leading me, and so on and so forth. Never in my life I felt so insecure about the present and the future. I've always had faith in finding someone special to walk with me into the unknown future eventually, and that faith was reassuring. Then January came.....whatever happened happened.... I still hope that person exists in my future, but it's merely a hope, or even a dream, instead of an expectation. I never experienced true loneliness, as for years I had single friends to stick around as a support group for one another. Then friends moved on, having their own family lives, or new exciting circles. These days, even if I try to arrange some gatherings, I may not even have anyone turn up.
Though, thanks to my special friend who offered me company and even her guest bedroom should I need to crash her place during these festive days as a third wheel. It was very touching for her to offer that. I truly appreciate that. Thanks for truly caring, and actually trying to help me feel better.
Work hasn't been too hectic, but not extremely rewarding either. It used to be better when I had my mentor around for some support. Now I turn to my peers (a few trusted ones) to moan - not advisable but there's no one else I can talk to about work. So, yes, for a while I've been feeling pretty lonely at work.
Despite feeling lonely and all that, this year has been an amazing one for me to get out of my little shell to connect with people, share my thoughts and hear others' stories. I've been actively meeting friends and trying to get to a selected few better and vice versa. These aren't just random people who are weird and all that, but interesting, intelligent people I could have a good time with. I don't remember myself being so open about meeting new friends before. For many years my core group of friends had stayed the same - until they started drifting apart that is. Perhaps this really is a transformation year for me, to reach out and connect with people outside of my own small circle, share with people my thoughts on happiness. Each time I receive a new "like" for my "Things that make me happy" album from some acquaintance who hardly ever talks to me on facebook or in person, it still brings a smile to my face because I know I successfully touched one more person around me. The personal project of mine to make it bigger is still on. I am exploring possibility of turning it into an ebook, and expanding the scope of the exploration/ research of happiness.
Thursday, November 4, 2010
煩女人!
哎呀, 好煩! 我真係好怕煩嘅女人! 咿咿哦哦! 又話出o黎,又話唔出,又話早, 又話晏! 好煩!!!! 咁煩嘅女人點搵男友?!
Please, 做人話一就一, 二就二! 諗三諗四, 又想睇下有無better alternatives先決定, 當我係妾士咩?! 做朋友做到o禁, 都幾心淡!
Please, 做人話一就一, 二就二! 諗三諗四, 又想睇下有無better alternatives先決定, 當我係妾士咩?! 做朋友做到o禁, 都幾心淡!
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
I Deserve It!
Today I got a voice message: Hello Ms Tang. This is One2Free (mobile operator) calling. I am Miss Wong and I am sorry that I am late in calling you back regarding your request to have your membership tier upgraded. I have checked and you have become our Diamond member. If you have questions you can call us back.
I smiled to myself after listening to this voice message - I had called up this mobile operator more than a month ago explaining that considering my high mobile phone usage (in some months when I travelled a lot for business, my monthly bill could be as high as HKD 10K), I deserved to be upgraded to a higher membership tier by default (which would entitle me to much shorter waiting time for customer hotline). I felt a bit annoyed and lame when I had to call up the hotline (and being put on hold for half an hour) and request for what I "deserved"; call back twice after a few weeks to ask why they hadn't called me back to update me on the result. Now I am very glad I did it, and I got what I deserved.
I was thinking about this as I was taking a quiet stroll back home from Causeway Bay. Whether at work, in relationship, or in everyday life, we need to know our worth and let others know how we deserve to be treated. We cannot force others to treat us well, but the least we could do for ourselves is calmly remind others what we are worth and how we should be treated. If they ignore it and mistreat us, we have the right to walk away.....
I don't consciously think about this, but I am indeed a person with principles and I do stand by my principles unless someone gives me a good reason for violating them - in which case I would accept. A few months ago, when having a chat with a male friend who is very opinionated and generally very intelligent, we were debating about a certain topic, and after listening to his argument, I said he had a fair point and I agreed with him. He said to me, wow I am surprised! For someone who has such a strong character, you actually do listen to others' opinion and can accept it. I said, why not? I may have an opinion about a lot of things but I certainly can't be right about everything. If you have a better logic and explanation of things, why wouldn't I listen? I find it hard to deal with this in a relationship though. Not every guy is open minded about discussing things and when I try to bring up a point - especially related to how I feel I should be treated - it could really make him defensive instead of calmly explaining his logic and allowing us both to peacefully understand each other and find common ground. It sucks having to request for something I feel reasonable (Please can we not go on holiday with your cousin's family?), yet being rejected flatly and accused of being unreasonable (Why can't I go on holiday with my cousin's family? Why don't you like my family?!). It sucks even more if I just do as I'm told, be quiet about it, yet the person doesn't even realize the sacrifice I am making because I love him.
Lately, I've been recalling a lot of the things Kev and I had done for each other. At the same time I also recalled how 委屈 I had felt, not being able to talk about anything in a civilized, understanding, loving manner despite how much we loved each other. I wish I could turn back time and bravely tell him, Kev I hope you could do this for me because I deserve it. Because I unfailingly loved you all this time, I deserve it.
We deserved a happy life together. Unfortunately, as I said earlier, we can request for what we deserve, but we don't always get what we deserve. Still, we owe it to ourselves to ask for what we feel we deserve.
I smiled to myself after listening to this voice message - I had called up this mobile operator more than a month ago explaining that considering my high mobile phone usage (in some months when I travelled a lot for business, my monthly bill could be as high as HKD 10K), I deserved to be upgraded to a higher membership tier by default (which would entitle me to much shorter waiting time for customer hotline). I felt a bit annoyed and lame when I had to call up the hotline (and being put on hold for half an hour) and request for what I "deserved"; call back twice after a few weeks to ask why they hadn't called me back to update me on the result. Now I am very glad I did it, and I got what I deserved.
I was thinking about this as I was taking a quiet stroll back home from Causeway Bay. Whether at work, in relationship, or in everyday life, we need to know our worth and let others know how we deserve to be treated. We cannot force others to treat us well, but the least we could do for ourselves is calmly remind others what we are worth and how we should be treated. If they ignore it and mistreat us, we have the right to walk away.....
I don't consciously think about this, but I am indeed a person with principles and I do stand by my principles unless someone gives me a good reason for violating them - in which case I would accept. A few months ago, when having a chat with a male friend who is very opinionated and generally very intelligent, we were debating about a certain topic, and after listening to his argument, I said he had a fair point and I agreed with him. He said to me, wow I am surprised! For someone who has such a strong character, you actually do listen to others' opinion and can accept it. I said, why not? I may have an opinion about a lot of things but I certainly can't be right about everything. If you have a better logic and explanation of things, why wouldn't I listen? I find it hard to deal with this in a relationship though. Not every guy is open minded about discussing things and when I try to bring up a point - especially related to how I feel I should be treated - it could really make him defensive instead of calmly explaining his logic and allowing us both to peacefully understand each other and find common ground. It sucks having to request for something I feel reasonable (Please can we not go on holiday with your cousin's family?), yet being rejected flatly and accused of being unreasonable (Why can't I go on holiday with my cousin's family? Why don't you like my family?!). It sucks even more if I just do as I'm told, be quiet about it, yet the person doesn't even realize the sacrifice I am making because I love him.
Lately, I've been recalling a lot of the things Kev and I had done for each other. At the same time I also recalled how 委屈 I had felt, not being able to talk about anything in a civilized, understanding, loving manner despite how much we loved each other. I wish I could turn back time and bravely tell him, Kev I hope you could do this for me because I deserve it. Because I unfailingly loved you all this time, I deserve it.
We deserved a happy life together. Unfortunately, as I said earlier, we can request for what we deserve, but we don't always get what we deserve. Still, we owe it to ourselves to ask for what we feel we deserve.
Monday, November 1, 2010
么鳳: Triggering Memories of Mom and Aunt
Today on my way back home from work, I walked by 么鳳, a very traditional Chinese dried snack shop in Causeway Bay, which suddenly reminded me of my aunt (whom I grew up calling "姨媽媽") and my mom who loved taking me to this shop when I was very little. The thought of them made me emotional and miss them very much.
I called my mom at once, trying once again to persuade her to come to town and visit me. She then told me about my aunt (in her late 60's) having hurt her foot some weeks ago and had been having trouble walking even around the flat - but she refused to see a doctor.
I spent a long time trying to explain to my mom how she needed to keep pushing Aunt to have her foot checked out, as it could be serious. My mom kept telling me how difficult it was to persuade my aunt..... how my aunt said that she couldn't walk across the street to take a taxi..... how taxis couldn't stop right outside her building's entrance..... (My aunt's son is mentally handicapped so naturally he can't help her. Her husband, for some bizarre reason, also has not taken her to the hospital. Neither has she called the ambulance, for fear of embarrassment.) I called back and taught my mom what counter arguments she could give, how she could called an ambulance for her if she really couldn't walk, etc.
It makes me very sad sometimes trying to care for someone who keeps refusing my help or giving me reasons why he/she doesn't need help. It really pains me, makes me 心痛. Like for so long I tried to convince my parents to move back to the city, to be closer to me, so I can visit them and take care of them. They keep saying no, and yet they aren't really taking good care of each other.
I understand that sometimes we hope to save the whole world but we can't. I don't intend to save the whole world, I only hope I can at least help those I love and care about. I wish I could do more, if only they would let me.
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Qualities I look for in a friend
I cherish friends who:
- Are spontaneous and don't expect me to always book his/ her time a few weeks in advance cos they are such important people.
- Don't treat me as one of his/her many options to spend time with. Who don't try to fully explore more "fun" options they have before responding to my invitations, usually after me chasing. It sucks having to organize, invite AND f*cking chase someone to respond.
- Are open-minded.
- Have a point of view and have something to add to a conversation.
- Are transparent: I hate people who are secretive.
- Are intelligent and can follow the logic and flow of a normal discussion.
- Don't fuss about little things. Who are forgiving, and don't hold a grudge.
- Initiate meet-ups and gatherings, not always rely on me to do it.
- Have something fun and insightful to bring to the friendship.
- Don't count pennies with me.
- Generally have a positive mentality and outlook.
- Are responsive. I hate people who hardly pick up the f*cking phone AND reply to text messages after days.
- Treat me as an equal and care about me as a friend. Not view me as competition, or an embarrassment.
- Stick around when I need company and support.
- Accept me as I am - my bluntness and spontaneity.
I am blessed with some good friends who have the above qualities.
- Are spontaneous and don't expect me to always book his/ her time a few weeks in advance cos they are such important people.
- Don't treat me as one of his/her many options to spend time with. Who don't try to fully explore more "fun" options they have before responding to my invitations, usually after me chasing. It sucks having to organize, invite AND f*cking chase someone to respond.
- Are open-minded.
- Have a point of view and have something to add to a conversation.
- Are transparent: I hate people who are secretive.
- Are intelligent and can follow the logic and flow of a normal discussion.
- Don't fuss about little things. Who are forgiving, and don't hold a grudge.
- Initiate meet-ups and gatherings, not always rely on me to do it.
- Have something fun and insightful to bring to the friendship.
- Don't count pennies with me.
- Generally have a positive mentality and outlook.
- Are responsive. I hate people who hardly pick up the f*cking phone AND reply to text messages after days.
- Treat me as an equal and care about me as a friend. Not view me as competition, or an embarrassment.
- Stick around when I need company and support.
- Accept me as I am - my bluntness and spontaneity.
I am blessed with some good friends who have the above qualities.
Blog Stalking
Many people are not aware of this, but actually as a blogspot/ blogger user, I can see what search terms people used to search for my site and from which search engine they found my site. Of course, for 99% of my readers I can't tell who they are even with such information. But if, for instance, I only have one friend who has some Japan background/ linkage, who would use google.co.jp to search for things, and specifically searches for "Tea Yee", I can be pretty certain he/she is the person I know.
I recently noticed someone who's been searching for my site all the time, and specifically searching for Tea Yee, using a specific google search engine (not HK, not US). This has been bothering me quite a bit, and is quite a turn-off, like someone I know stalking me. If you friggin want to check out the site, just bookmark it properly. Don't search for me every friggin day! Nobody calls me "Tea Yee". It is the name of my teddy bear. So that person specifically wanted to look me up, rather than search for something random and stumbled onto my site by chance every friggin day.
It bothers me because I have to think twice before writing about certain topics, trying to be sensitive and all that.
I won't give a damn from now on. I'll just whatever I want to write about. If you think it'll hurt your feelings, please just stop reading.
I recently noticed someone who's been searching for my site all the time, and specifically searching for Tea Yee, using a specific google search engine (not HK, not US). This has been bothering me quite a bit, and is quite a turn-off, like someone I know stalking me. If you friggin want to check out the site, just bookmark it properly. Don't search for me every friggin day! Nobody calls me "Tea Yee". It is the name of my teddy bear. So that person specifically wanted to look me up, rather than search for something random and stumbled onto my site by chance every friggin day.
It bothers me because I have to think twice before writing about certain topics, trying to be sensitive and all that.
I won't give a damn from now on. I'll just whatever I want to write about. If you think it'll hurt your feelings, please just stop reading.
Friend Turned Financial Planner - Scary!
Oh my god, it freaks me out when friends turn into financial planners, insurance agents, etc. and start chasing you in impersonal ways in order to find business. I can fully understand they need to make a living and they are taught certain aggressive ways to find business. Yet, having known them as friends before, it seems so bizarre when they treat you like a customer.
Just now, on facebook, a friend whom I haven't talked to in a while, sent me an instant message: Have you thought about where you want to be in 5 years?
I freaked out and closed facebook.
Last time I talked to this person was on the phone - and he wanted to sell some business solutions. Even though I stated that I wasn't the person to decide on these admin decisions, he relentlessly probed in other ways to try and obtain other contacts from me, the way sales training courses teach you. I don't know what they teach in these companies - that everyone they know is a business opportunity and should be leveraged fully?
I find it sad because he is to me a friend, and I'd like him to think of me as a friend. He is normally a very nice person. He used to comment on my facebook. Now we have zero interaction except sales calls/ messages.
Just now, on facebook, a friend whom I haven't talked to in a while, sent me an instant message: Have you thought about where you want to be in 5 years?
I freaked out and closed facebook.
Last time I talked to this person was on the phone - and he wanted to sell some business solutions. Even though I stated that I wasn't the person to decide on these admin decisions, he relentlessly probed in other ways to try and obtain other contacts from me, the way sales training courses teach you. I don't know what they teach in these companies - that everyone they know is a business opportunity and should be leveraged fully?
I find it sad because he is to me a friend, and I'd like him to think of me as a friend. He is normally a very nice person. He used to comment on my facebook. Now we have zero interaction except sales calls/ messages.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Pao de Queijo - Brazilian Cheesebread
One of the "nothings" that we did was baking pao de queijo (Brazilian cheesebread) with the mix I had at home.
It was such "saudade" (roughly means sweet nostalgia in this context) when we enjoyed the freshly baked pao de queijo - dry and slightly crispy crust, slightly moist, soft, chewy inside with a mild cheese flavor..... It wasn't exactly the same as the homemade ones in Brazil, but it was close enough for a packaged mix. I loved eating it just plain, but adding some butter, sugar, and cinnamon to the center surprisingly turned it into a very delicious sweet treat!
I will try the next batch with some parmesan cheese mixed in for more cheese flavor and chewy texture. If you ever happen to visit Brazil or can get hold of these packaged mixes in your local Brazilian grocery shop, do try it!
Monday, October 25, 2010
Book Recommendation: Sh*t My Dad Says
Without spoiling the book for you, here's just two of many quotes:
"You are four years old. You have to shit in the toilet. This is not one of those negotiations where we'll go back and forth and find a middle ground. This ends with you shitting in a toilet."
When the author was in university, his dad said to him one day, "All I ask is that you pick up your shit so you don't leave your bedroom looking like it was used for a gang bang. Also, sorry that your girlfriend dumped you."Hope you enjoy it as much as I did.
Friday, October 22, 2010
Chocolate Indulgence: VERO Lounge (Pictures)
I wrote about Vero Lounge (Chocolate Indulgence: VERO Lounge, Hong Kong) some time ago but that time my phone camera's flash was too weak to take any pictures. I went again last night - still without my DSLR camera - and took a few cute snapshots of the beautiful hot chocolate and the little chocolate gallery. Hope this can entice you to pay a visit in person and experience it yourself. Please DO call (25595882) before going to make sure they are not closed for any private events.
Thursday, October 14, 2010
More on iPhone 4: Camera Apps
Recently I travelled to Singapore with my iPhone 4 and it was such joy! With web surfing made so easy with iPhone, and the phone camera having good resolution (for phone camera), I was constantly seeking out Free Wi-Fi spots to surf the net, Whatsapp with my friends in Hong Kong, and uploading pictures to Facebook. Never before did I have a phone so perfect for traveling.
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In particular it was extremely useful taking snapshots of Google Map, as the resolution was good enough for me to blow it up on the phone to zoom into smaller streets. You know how expensive it could be to real time data roam overseas, using Google Map.
Taking snapshots with this phone was also tons of fun. Since I didn't go to Singapore for any expectation of sceneries or interesting things to shoot with a proper camera, I did not bring any cameras at all. The whole time I only used the various camera apps I loved:
After the trip I also got an app called ToonCamera which cartoonizes pictures:
You probably did not notice: I did not tag any of these blog posts with "i Shoot Photos" because I am a conservative and do not consider phone camera "photography" photography. These are fun apps, no doubt, but imitating Lomo does not make it a Lomo picture. It bothers me when I see some non-close friends on facebook calling their fake Lomo iphone pictures "lomo".
Hope you enjoy these camera apps as well!
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Taking snapshots with this phone was also tons of fun. Since I didn't go to Singapore for any expectation of sceneries or interesting things to shoot with a proper camera, I did not bring any cameras at all. The whole time I only used the various camera apps I loved:
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| LENSES - other fun special pre-set effects to choose from |
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| LOFI - an imitation of slide film & cross processing effect |
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| Polarize - an imitation of polaroid photos, very contrast and saturation, good for well-lit lighter colored subjects |
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| Color Splash - making selected parts of a photo with colors, and rest in black & white |
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| TrueHDR - a better camera app than the default, this allows users to take pictures with better control of exposure, allowing more details in both bright and dark areas of the picture |
After the trip I also got an app called ToonCamera which cartoonizes pictures:
You probably did not notice: I did not tag any of these blog posts with "i Shoot Photos" because I am a conservative and do not consider phone camera "photography" photography. These are fun apps, no doubt, but imitating Lomo does not make it a Lomo picture. It bothers me when I see some non-close friends on facebook calling their fake Lomo iphone pictures "lomo".
Hope you enjoy these camera apps as well!
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Singapore Fav Food, Shopping & Play
FOOD
- My Little Spanish Place - as its name suggests it's a small Spanish restaurant with very nice tapas
- Three Wombats Cafe - a small cafe on Kim Keat Road serving nice coffee, good breakfast, wonderful ca.esar salad, and peach cheesecake
- Icecream waffle sandwich vendor on Orchard Road near TANGS
- 211 Roof Terrance Cafe in Holland Village. Food is alright, but drinks not that great. It is a nice oasis on the rooftop of Holland Village Shopping Center.
- Lau Pa Sat - for years I loved Fatman Satay (Stall #1 and 2) but this time I tried Traditional Satay (Stall #3 and 4) and I actually liked it better. I think mutton and duck are both particularly good.
- PS.Cafe is a nice brunch restaurant set in a very green, park environment. I loved the whole atmosphere even though the food is mediocre and overpriced.
- Newton Hawker Center is NOT my favourite. I prefer Lau Pa Sat, East Coast, and Maxwell. Regardless, I always love sugar cane juice with lemon.
- Founder Bakuteh was alright. It's very peppery and I think I prefer the Malaysian herbal version of Bakuteh more.
- Ion Shopping Center's food court was pretty nice, with large variety of food choices and a clean environment. I loved that they had a wash basin for customers to wash their hands in the middle of the food court.
- Bengawan Solo is always my favourite for Indonesian cakes and desserts. I often buy pandan cake at the airport both on arrival and departure.
I love shopping in Singapore (even more if the exchange rate is more favourable). I just always manage to find things to buy there. A few of my favourites:
- TANGS is always my first stop. I love the earring and accessories brand, Metalli, and I often bought more than 3 or 4 pairs of earrings each time I visited their counter.
- TANGS also sometimes have pretty shoes at very affordable prices. They may not be the most comfortable shoes though, so I rarely buy heels from them. This time, I bought 4 pairs of ballerina flats cos they were really pretty. I am still trying to find a way to make them softer and more comfortable as I do not believe in torturing my feet no matter how pretty a pair of shoes is.
- Holland Village is also a great place to look for trinkets, home decoration items, or ethnic wear. In particular, I love Lim's and Creative Dimensions. The former has plenty of home decoration products, mostly Asian style with a modern twist. I bought cushion covers and a jewelry box there. Creative Dimensions is heaven if you are into sequins and beaded bags, coasters, cushion covers, etc. I got myself two little purses, some coasters and a small coin bag there.
- Another favourite shop of mine in Singapore is Island Shop. It's great for beachwear and summer clothing. I have a lot of clothes from there, accumulated from each of my Singapore visits. This time I didn't buy anything as it wasn't on sale.
Apart from Night Safari, I never had much idea what else to do for fun in Singapore. Thanks to my friends, Janis, Pat and Gautam, I was taken to some new places this time.
- Night Safari has always been my favourite. I love taking the park train to see different animals, and love the walk up and down the jungle in the dark even more.
- Peirce Reservoir was a really cool place my friends took me to, as I wanted to get away from all the traffic and crowds, and be near to nature. It was a really lovely walk, with a very flat trail by the reservoir, and lots of greenery perfect for a picnic date. I really loved it.
- A new and chic rooftop, open-air bar/ lounge is Ying Yang. We walked past Chinatown to get there. It was really happening.
- We also spent time just chilling in Starbucks, Page One etc in the mall for some aircon (the humidity in Singapore was unbearable, even my clothes and bag were damp most of the time).
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
iPhone 4 Obsession
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I am embarrassed to say that I have been slow in updating my blog because I finally joined the iPhone 4 community last Sunday and have become fully obsessed with the phone and everything related to the phone. Such is the power of Apple!
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I have to say it is a fun experience. Highly addictive too! I have been behaving like a kid with a new toy in the past few days - attentively playing with my phone during dinner with friend, playing with my phone while walking down and crossing the street, making wrong turns, missing entrances, almost run over by traffic :P
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