Today I got a voice message: Hello Ms Tang. This is One2Free (mobile operator) calling. I am Miss Wong and I am sorry that I am late in calling you back regarding your request to have your membership tier upgraded. I have checked and you have become our Diamond member. If you have questions you can call us back.
I smiled to myself after listening to this voice message - I had called up this mobile operator more than a month ago explaining that considering my high mobile phone usage (in some months when I travelled a lot for business, my monthly bill could be as high as HKD 10K), I deserved to be upgraded to a higher membership tier by default (which would entitle me to much shorter waiting time for customer hotline). I felt a bit annoyed and lame when I had to call up the hotline (and being put on hold for half an hour) and request for what I "deserved"; call back twice after a few weeks to ask why they hadn't called me back to update me on the result. Now I am very glad I did it, and I got what I deserved.
I was thinking about this as I was taking a quiet stroll back home from Causeway Bay. Whether at work, in relationship, or in everyday life, we need to know our worth and let others know how we deserve to be treated. We cannot force others to treat us well, but the least we could do for ourselves is calmly remind others what we are worth and how we should be treated. If they ignore it and mistreat us, we have the right to walk away.....
I don't consciously think about this, but I am indeed a person with principles and I do stand by my principles unless someone gives me a good reason for violating them - in which case I would accept. A few months ago, when having a chat with a male friend who is very opinionated and generally very intelligent, we were debating about a certain topic, and after listening to his argument, I said he had a fair point and I agreed with him. He said to me, wow I am surprised! For someone who has such a strong character, you actually do listen to others' opinion and can accept it. I said, why not? I may have an opinion about a lot of things but I certainly can't be right about everything. If you have a better logic and explanation of things, why wouldn't I listen? I find it hard to deal with this in a relationship though. Not every guy is open minded about discussing things and when I try to bring up a point - especially related to how I feel I should be treated - it could really make him defensive instead of calmly explaining his logic and allowing us both to peacefully understand each other and find common ground. It sucks having to request for something I feel reasonable (Please can we not go on holiday with your cousin's family?), yet being rejected flatly and accused of being unreasonable (Why can't I go on holiday with my cousin's family? Why don't you like my family?!). It sucks even more if I just do as I'm told, be quiet about it, yet the person doesn't even realize the sacrifice I am making because I love him.
Lately, I've been recalling a lot of the things Kev and I had done for each other. At the same time I also recalled how 委屈 I had felt, not being able to talk about anything in a civilized, understanding, loving manner despite how much we loved each other. I wish I could turn back time and bravely tell him, Kev I hope you could do this for me because I deserve it. Because I unfailingly loved you all this time, I deserve it.
We deserved a happy life together. Unfortunately, as I said earlier, we can request for what we deserve, but we don't always get what we deserve. Still, we owe it to ourselves to ask for what we feel we deserve.
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