When I was 24.....

My conversation with my friend, Stephen, whom I have known for 10 years.  During our taxi ride to work -

Me: You know, 10 years ago I was only 24.  When we used to hang out a lot.  When YOU used to hang out.  What was I like?  Any difference from now?

Stephen: Hmmm, well you're certainly more decisive now than 10 years ago.  Grown up and all that.....

Me: Grown up in a good way?  

Stephen:  Yeah...

Me: So what was I like 10 years ago?

Stephen:  Well, I guess back then you were still exploring, trying to find out how your life would unfold.  You always wanted to try different things..... understand yourself.

Me: Isn't that typical of everyone when they were young?

Stephen: Hmmm no... some young girls just go to work, go home, do the same things.  You were eager to explore.....

Me: I remember I used to cry a lot, moaning to you and friends how others had something bad to me and hurt me.  I suppose as I grew up, I have learned to understand why people do certain things and accept it as part of life.....

Stephen:  Yeah, you were young and weren't very sure of yourself...

10 years - that's a very long time.  If Stephen is right about me being very keen to explore life and myself, I think I have done a fine job in the past 10 years.  I have stretched myself to experience different things, to be a better version of myself, to be with different people, to learn to accept different personalities, to learn to accept some sad truths about life.

10 years ago my friends around me were just as inexperienced in life, and equally exploring.  I can imagine a lot of the conversations were probably not very insightful - probably none of us had answers to the questions we had, so we ended up bouncing off each other's questions, moaning about our problems.  Now, our conversations on similar topics probably would lead to discussions of our viewpoints coming from real life experience.

Such awkward innocence, ignorance, is a symbol of youth.  Would I want that now?  No.  It would be an embarrassment.  Yet, the process of seeking answers to life from a stage of awkwardness, innocence and ignorance, to attaining understanding, acceptance and wisdom, is remarkable.  It is the beauty of life.  Transforming to a wiser, calmer, more sophisticated version of ourselves.  Hopefully.