幸福

每天早上，開門入小狗的睡房，看著他伸伸懶腰，像小貓般打哈欠，剛剛睡醒的模樣，我覺得很幸福。
每天回家，把他抱到懷中，他懶洋洋地把毛茸茸的小頭靠在我肩上，我覺得很幸福。
每個晚上，在他睡前與他玩耍一回，我覺得很幸福。

Animal Photography

A lot of friends have asked me how I managed to take so many action shots of Curly as well as still shots where he looked right into the camera.

I am no professional photographer, so I don't have much to share in terms of technique.  Though I do have a few tips to share (with those who struggle with this):

1. STAY command for STILL shots - Absolutely necessary otherwise your picture will always be fuzzy and out of focus.  You need to be able to make your dog stay still (willingly - if forced down, your dog's expression will show it). 

2. TOY or TREAT to capture attention - For still shots, if you have a toy or a treat in one hand, not only will your dog be more willing to stay for the picture, but also he/she will more likely have a happy/ excited expression on his face.  In Curly's case, his eyes basically light up!  For action shots, it helps to throw a toy in the direction you want your dog to run to.  In many cases, you need to do it repeatedly to get the best shot.
3. EYE CONTACT for STILL shots - Cameras, phones are inanimate objects hence not the most interesting things to stare at for a long time while you try to set the focus or adjust the flash.  After you've done all the adjustments, try not to stare into the camera viewfinder or the screen of your iphone, but lower it a little so you can have eye contact with your dog.  This helps to capture your dog seemingly looking at the camera.
4. GET DOWN on your knees - Especially if you have small dogs, you get much better shots of your dog's expression and movement when you lower yourself (and your camera) to their eye level.
5. TV MODE of DSLR cameras for ACTION shots - iPhone is fine for still shots, but definitely not suitable for action shots.  If you have a DSLR, TV Mode can help you really capture the movement as if you've stopped time.  I love mid-air shots of my dog.

Don't blame my dog for me being single!

Someone connected to me on Facebook but barely knew me told me I shouldn't spend so much time with my dog and put aside the importance to meet men. What the f*ck? Don't blame my dog for my single status!

The lady meant well - I am absolutely sure - but sometimes people feel so bad for me that they try to find out the reason why I am still single. Quoting the lady: You are so pretty and kind and smart, it isn't possible you are single! If people like you are single, what's gonna happen to rest of us ordinary women?

Well I don't mean to disappoint, but yes, even pretty and nice girls can be very single and there doesn't have to be a reason for it. It doesn't mean that ordinary girls are even more doomed cos many guys actually are afraid to pursue not-so-ordinary girls.

But really, blaming my dog is not fair and it's judgemental! I actually spend my weekends hanging out (without my dog), and I often go out after I've fed my dog on weeknights. Certainly I am not single because my dog is eating up my time! If I am home, it's because I want some alone time or I don't have any friend to hang out with. Why blame my dog?!

If you truly care about me, as a friend, don't judge my life or way of living. I appreciate you feel nervous for me, but you gotta be patient. Have some faith in God. Or find me a nice man directly! Ha.

Loving This Responsibility

Responsibility is a tricky thing - if you are ready for it it keeps you grounded and fulfilled; if you aren't, no matter how hard you try to accept it, one day you will still walk away because you don't know how to deal with it.

For me, I also went a long way before I came to accept and embrace it. It took me many many years to finally get a dog despite how much I have always liked dogs. I never felt I would be good enough to look after one, and was worried of all the sacrifices I would have to make. I wasn't ready for it until this year. During times of despair, I did question my ability to look after my dog and I have thought about giving him to Benny's mom, thinking he might be happier there. But after his surgery yesterday, seeing how much pain he was in, and how traumatized he was since I left him at the clinic, I realized how much he really needed me.

I am happy to have the privilege to be responsible for this precious life's happiness, growth, and well-being. This responsibility gives me meaning in life no adventurous travel experience can substitute. My sacrifices are all worth it.

And I am hopeful that one day I will also meet someone who enjoys having me as part of his responsibility.

If My Puppy Were My Son

My puppy has been running towards the door excitedly every time he heard the the sound of the outer gate, then disappointingly walking back when he realized it wasn't Benny coming home.

I am lucky I have a puppy not a human son. I would have needed to really explain to him otherwise. It would have been difficult.

Still, I have told my puppy a few times: silly boy, Goh Goh is not coming back home again, but it's okay cos Jeh Jeh (I) will always be here for you, Baby. Goh Goh has his own life to lead. We need to let him go. Let's not wait for him okay?

If my puppy were a human boy, I might say to him: Baby, Goh Goh is not coming back home again, he doesn't want all those responsibilities he had for me and for you, or a routine life of coming home to us everyday. It isn't what he wants and Goh Goh has done enough. Some people in our lives stay for a very long time, or at least reappear every now and then with the biggest hugs, others leave and never turn back. We never know who will stay and who will not, until the very end. But don't feel sad, Baby, because those who do stay are all that matter to us. Let's not feel sad over those who left, but feel happy for those who are, and will be in our lives. One thing for sure, I am your Jeh Jeh, your Mommy, and I will stay in your life till the very end.

My dog is a little thief!!

The other day I took Curly out for a walk and bumped into the legendary "Ninja" dog trainer in Happy Valley.  I call him "Ninja" cos he is always dressed in all black, military style, and only appears at night after midnight in the Valley, training dogs.

It was my first time actually talking to him.  I mean, he IS a legendary figure and he always looks so serious which makes him sort of scary.  Regardless, I took the courage to ask him if the waiting list for his dog training class was indeed 3 months.  He smiled then asked me what problems I had with my dog.  We ended up chatting for quite a bit and he gave me some tips how to train Curly not to be so neurotic and to calm down on the street.

Just now I clicked into the blog of another dog trainer called Mack, and I thought of contacting him to ask about his training.  I knew for sure he'd ask me what problems my dog had.  I thought in my head:  well, Curly is actually not a bad dog, just a bit mischievous and 古靈精怪... If I must pinpoint his behavioural problems, well he is picky with his food, he likes to jump onto the sofa, he begs me to let him sleep on my bed, he is very distracted by people and other dogs during walks, he gets over-excited when we have visitors and.... oh yes, HE LOVES TO STEAL!

How embarrassing to say that: Yes, my dog steals!  If I accidentally leave anything within his reach, he sneaks up, grabs it and runs away!!  Even when I stare at him, order him to drop it, he would still chew chew chew and if I make any movement he runs away from me!  I have tried to walk away instead and ignore him, but he would still chew on the thing for a bit before he drops it and comes to me for attention.  Ugggghhhh  He has stolen my socks (many times), my underwear, my bag, my shirt, a $10 note, my towel, my stuffed toy TT, etc.

Let's see if the trainer can teach me how to deal with that! Ha!

Curly is a lucky dog

Curly B, you are a very lucky dog. You are blessed with so many of us showering you with love and hugs and kisses and attention. While I am away these two weeks, Benny 哥哥 looks after you everyday, spending time with you, picking up your smelly poopie, combing your hair, feeding you food. Uncle Stephen spending his whole Saturday with you when Benny 哥哥 is in Macau. We all love you so much, we want to make sure you feel happy even when Mommy's away for 2 weeks.

Happy 7 months old, my Baby! I miss you so much like my own son.

Dog Owner Responsibilities

In the past few months, I have read numerous dog-related blogs, books and articles to help me better understand how to raise Curly well.  Today I came across this dog trainers blog - http://hk.myblog.yahoo.com/mackdogtraining - and it inspires me to write about my thoughts on dog training.

I do believe it is the basic responsibility of a dog owner - to do his very best to teach the dog "right" from "wrong" in a manner understood and respected by the dog.  There is one school of thought emphasizing the importance of negative reinforcement coupled with positive reinforcement and there is another school of thought which only uses positive reinforcement (and condemns negative reinforcement).  Whichever the approach, for as long as the dog gets it, respects it, and doesn't suffer physical or mental damage, it's a good approach to me.

Like many dog owners I have talked to, I agree that dog training should start as early as possible before an undesirable behaviour gets too deep-rooted to unlearn.  I've seen how my puppy acted like an angry maniac, looking at me with such furious eyes, wishing he could bite my hand off.  And now he is a sweet puppy who can calm down if I do certain things to distract him.  When I go into the kitchen, and he is left outside the baby gate, he still sometimes barks - wanting me to let him in or go to him.  But unlike the nonstop loud barking before, now he barks very little and sits when I shush him, to try and wait patiently for me to finish whatever I am doing in the kitchen.  I can see how hard he's trying.  Sometimes he's body is shaking and he's trying so hard to hold back his bark, and I smile at him :)

My experience with dog training was that it really taught me how to communicate with my dog, and likewise.  How to encourage a calm mind, and trust in me that I knew better what was best for him.  Likewise, through this experience, I gained more respect for him as a dog - instead of yelling at him "it's my way or the highway!", I respect him that as a dog he may really want to do a certain thing, but it's not acceptable in my household or at that time so I would appreciate (with a pet, a praise, a treat) if he could stop.  My sweetie might pout a little if I become a party pooper, but he gets happy again when he has my attention.

I think it was after listening to The Dunbars when I started to understand that certain dog behaviours need to be respected by us humans (for instance, the need to chew during teething stage), and how we gain their respect when we, instead of just saying No to everything, we show them the other option we allow (for instance, chew on the Kong toy) so as to find middle ground.  I think my own Dog Trainer, Ben, mentioned in one of his blog entries that some of his own dogs did bark a bit.  Some dogs are naturally more vocal than others.  Barking in dog world is a natural behavior, it's their way to express their emotions.  Just like as humans, we talk.  If a dog isn't allowed to bark at all, why are we allowed to talk?

All in all, I enjoy the responsibilities of a dog owner.  Making sure he is healthy physically and mentally, and feels safe and content with his life with me.  Ensuring he has sufficient exercise to release his energy.  Socializing him with people and dogs.  Giving him guidance what is "acceptable" in the human world and what is not.  Teaching him obedience, not to stroke my ego, but to ensure that he doesn't become a wild uncontrollable dog in the future.  Giving him attention and affection.  It's a lot of responsibilities but they make me feel very fulfilled.

My Toy Poodle Curly Update

Curly is turning 4 months old next week and I am very excited.  It means getting his third vaccine shot, and being able to start walking him and taking him out to meet friends! 

The first month of raising him was tough.  It was my first time keeping a pup - a very high energy and quick-tempered pup - and being patient and calm certainly was never in my natural genes.  In the end, I hired Trainer Ben to train me and pup.  Originally the intention was to teach him obedience.  Turned out, he was taught a lot of tricks - through which he started to understand rules and obedience.  It has been a great experience teaching him tricks, as it bonded us and gave him a sense of purpose each day - to focus on my combination of commands, follow, and work for his food.  Here's a few clippings of Curly.  I am so proud of Curly and love showing off his videos! 

My First Month Raising a Toy Poodle Puppy

Sorry I haven't been updating my blog as frequently as before.  Life as a new-mom really is tough - but well worth it!

Curly has grown a lot since I took him home a month ago.  Here's a rough bio of my Curly based on my observation:

Temperament:  Excitable, but stubborn.  Short-tempered.  Persistent.  Friendly with strangers. 

Physique: Super active and energetic, very good with physical challenges (jumping/ climbing up and down).  0.81kg on Feb 12.

Appearance: Thick and curly, reddish brown fur.  Big round bum :)  Pouty face. 

Favourite Food: His regular diet, Hill's Pet Small Bites.  He is too young to be given any other food/ treats, except a really tiny bit of cheese treat.

Favourite Spots in the House: (1) Kitchen - he keeps going back there to stand on his hind legs and stare at his food bowl.  (2) Living Room (Rug) - he loves munching on the rug - which makes me quite worried.  (3) Under my bed.  There's all these mesh container bags for clothes that are just so fun for him to bite and play with. 

Skills Mastered: (1) Sit to indicate he is a good boy and deserves food.  (2) Sit and Stay (still struggling a bit with extended stay) to be given food.  (3) Jump up the sofa with help of one cushion below the sofa, and further making his way to top of my sofa.  (This skill is now discouraged by me as I learned that it could be very dangerous for him.)  (4) Whine to earn some sympathy.  (Works sometimes but I try hard to discourage it even though my heart melts.) (5) Pick up his toys with his mouth to run around or play fetch.  He can manage picking up a stuffed toy bigger than him in size, and a heavy set of chewy rubber keys.  (6) Come back when called - except when over-excited or fully engaged with something (e.g. the thought or sight of FOOD). 


Other Positive Behavior: Curly, like all dogs, loves to eat.  He is very healthy and always has great appetite for food (and other chewable things - which to me aren't edible).  Despite such love for food, he isn't overprotective of his food/ food bowl - which could be a sign of insecurity/ lack of trust/ aggression.  In fact, when he is eating, I can not only pet him, but also lift BOTH of his hind legs up (like handstand)!  (Of course this is not recommended - probably bad for digestion.) 
Unless provoked, he is otherwise very affectionate, and always checks on me - even when he's playing in another room, he'd drop his favourite toy to see what I'm doing. 
He fully respects my space when I am in my bedroom, and during bedtime - he doesn't bark much when I am out of sight in my bedroom. 
When eating from my hand (I sometimes use his dog food as treat) - he is gentle and doesn't bite or snatch.  He manages to relieve himself in the right spot (wee pad in his crate) 80% of the time when he is outside of crate, and 100% of the time when he is inside the crate. 
While he isn't crazy about being wiped down by me (with wet wipes) after he poops - since I usually hold him only with one hand and that doesn't always feels the most secure to him - he doesn't bark or resist too much.  He's quite used to me cleaning his paws and bum (very very thoroughly), and inspecting his bum up close (haha, yes).

Bad Behavior - to be corrected: (1) Human biting - Curly is still learning what he can bite and what he can't.  He does have several biting occasions: (a) play biting (b) aggressive/ frustrated biting (c) teething pain relief biting.  Play biting generally appears to be improving - he is slowly refraining from biting when playing, or bites with much lighter pressure than before.  Still, I disapprove of it and lightly tap his mouth and walk away.  When frustrated he still sometimes try to gain control of my body part by grabbing it with his paws and trying to bite.  Of course, I give it a firm no, brush him off and walk away.  Sometimes he bites to help relieve his teething pain - which I try to redirect with a rubber toy and he usually settles for it.  (2) Barking - this has been a major cause of stress.  It's not just about the noise level itself - I am used to having a very quiet home and I am a quiet person  at home - but knowing that he is anxious/ upset when I am out of sight in bathroom or kitchen.  He'd bark very loudly non-stop.  I haven't yet figured out a way to stop it.  Some books/ forums say it's best to ignore the barking to avoid reinforcing it.  Some say that ignoring it could make the dog get used to be unstable emotionally.  Others say that one should shake a can of coins to redirect his attention, or use a spray bottle to startle him.  I've tried most methods and really don't know what is the best way considering I can't do much when I am physically away from him.  I even tried singing in the bathroom, saying NO while taking a shower.... nothing worked.  In fact, I even tried letting him join me in the bathroom, but he got anxious when he got separated from me by the glass shower door!  When he is outside of his crate, he rarely barks though.

I have to admit it has been a lot of more work, effort, patience than I had expected based on what people had told me.  A lot more stress too, from worries, from failure to correct his behavior, from the noise level, etc.  But, like everyone told me, it was well worth it.  Watching him learn new things each day, showing even the tiniest progress changing his "bad" behavior, licking my face, sitting in front of me spontaneously while looking at me with eyes saying "please give me some munchies, mommy"..... my heart melts right away.

Curly's First Day Home

I finally brought Curly home yesterday.  He's super active though whiny when kept behind bars.  I let him come out of the cage to explore the environment, and he already responded to his name and followed me around the living room while I walked zig zag or in circles.  It was a real joy to have a fur ball follow me around.

I tried hard not to be overly affectionate to him yet, and to ignore his whining.  I wish I could tire him out before letting him happily go back to his cage to rest, but since he was still sick afterall, I had little choice but to force him into the cage. 

Luckily he has good appetite and so far he is very well housebroken.  He is also much more affectionate to me now, knowing I am the boss in this household.  I wish for nothing but good health for him and more obedience growing up.

My Toy Poodle Puppy: Curly

Let me introduce:  This is Curly, an emotional toy poodle boy of 10 weeks old.

After Beary left, and a lot of crying thereafter, a very helpful staff, Cat, at Dog One Life helped me find this cute fluffy puppy from a breeder.

I was supposed to pick him up yesterday but he caught a cold and Cat is helping me look after today before I try to bring him home tomorrow.

To prep me to become a responsible owner and leader of Curly, I have also started reading Cesar Millan's books and watching his DVDs. 

I am excitedly looking forward to this new addition to my home and life.  I truly hope the puppy will grow up to be a healthy, happy, well-behaved dog and companion of mine.  In the meantime, I am practising "calm-assertive" energy, and shhh signal for disapproved behaviour.  :)

Lost My Dog, Beary

A few days ago, I lost my first puppy to dog disease, after meeting him 4 times, and having him home for 2.5 hours.  It's a heartbreaking experience.

I posted this on facebook, and while many friends showed their support and concern, this morning I woke up seeing a comment from a good friend: Maybe he doesn't like you!  hehe :P.  I was shocked and was extremely bothered by it the whole day.

Having known this friend for a while, I know she is a nice person and I am certain she didn't mean to upset me.  Though, I also know that she is not particularly passionate about small animals.  So, I can understand that she thought it was like breaking an iPhone on the first day of purchase or something.  That it sucked.

But no, it's not like that.  It's heartbreaking and painful to watch an animal whom you bond with suffer in pain and seek for your comfort and help.  The pup, Beary, had already recognized me after my 2nd visit.  When he was hyperventilating at my home, each time he would try to climb up to my neck to rest his head on my neck for reassurance.  The last day I saw him, at the vet, when I took him from the pet shop staff, he once again climbed up to my neck and fell asleep with his head resting next to my neck.  He was having higher temperature and feeling very sick.  This, I think, is what they call connection.  I didn't see him doing this with any of the store staff or my friend who also held him.

People wonder why I am so attached to this little animal after just spending so little time with him.  I think anyone who has ever had a pet particularly close to him would understand.  I have lived with many animals in my life.... numerous birds, turtles, 4 rabbits, a cat, many fish, but none of those made me feel needed and trusted like Beary did.  For the first time in my life, I felt like I could truly give support to another living creature - and it wasn't because I had done anything to gain its trust and prove my love... I hadn't even had a chance to feed the little thing.  It just trusted me and felt safe with me.

Some friends told me to go to SPCA or Hong Kong Dog Rescue to get another dog.  I am fully pro-adoption, but for me, getting my first dog is a special thing to me.  It's not like I just want A dog, ANY dog... I want a dog I am genuinely excited about and feel a connection with.  I love Golden Retrievers, for example, but I cannot afford the time and energy to accommodate their active lifestyle needs.  I like tollers, but they can't be found in Hong Kong, not to mention at the Dog Rescue.  I like some poodles, but I am only excited about certain ones I... just like... and they are likely to be quite young.  Adopting dogs is a very respectful thing to do.  But at this stage in my life, without any dog raising experience, I am not ready to get a dog for the sake of saving a life, I want to first keep a dog whose breed and temperament suits my lifestyle and whose presence excites me.  I don't know how to explain this to others without being misunderstood.  It's like, I am totally pro-adoption of babies (human) and if my future husband is equally supportive, I would go for it.  Though most people do prefer to have their own when there are so many kids out there who need a loving family.  There you go. Who am I to tell people not to have their own but to adopt?!

Past two days I went to see a silverish dog in a very reputable shop which directly took from breeder and kept for me to consider.  The shopgirl explained how special and rare the color was for a poodle, how healthy and active that dog was, and my friends told me how cute the dog looked......  I thought to myself for a while, perhaps I should just get this one since it's a very healthy dog and I wouldn't need to go through the heartbreak from keeping a younger pup.  Last minute, when I had to make the decision, I told the staff I wasn't sure about the dog and they should sell it to others.  The fact was, the dog was cute but I didn't feel special chemistry with him.  As smart and active as he was, I felt so much pressure having to outsmart him and dominate each interaction.  Though the Beary incident was so painful - it's been 2 days and I am still crying - I still believe that I shouldn't just settle for a supposedly "good" dog.  I don't care if my dog is rare and will be praised by others.  I just want a dog who can share that bond I had with Beary.  I honestly don't know what I did to gain his trust, but my friends and the staff saw how Beary wanted to be close to me especially when he was very sick.

This experience really makes me understand how precious a bond is between a human and his dog.  Unlike humans, it really is unconditional.