My 5 Year Plan (Wishlist) Back in 2007!

I was searching my previous blog for an entry on fantasyland, and by chance came across this entry I wrote on 5-year plan, back in 2007!!!  It was scary - like finding a time capsule you buried in childhood.  Here's the entry:
Dream Life N5Y (Next 5 Years)
So I wanted:
- To do some kind of shopper/ social research
- To be in some serious, loving, lasting, trusting, monogamous relationship
- To live in a sweet cozy home in old building with balcony and high ceiling
- To have a golden retriever
- To be able to work from home sometimes
- To work in an area which involves writing and coming up with ideas
- To master portuguese
- To be able to work / live more overseas while I am still single
- To support my family and live closer to them
- To start a family with the right person

Em.... I don't know what to say.... 5 years from then, would be Nov 2012, not that far from now really.

Well, I DO have a dog now - not golden retriever but he is in every way comparable to, if not better than, a golden retriever :)

I WAS in some monogamous relationship for 2 years.... we WERE sweet and happy and trusting until... um... we weren't .... oops...  I WAS in a short relationship for a few months... and I WAS happy and felt sweet when we were together..... oops.  Guess I didn't really the hit lasting mark.

I have done a few shopper research projects.... as for social research, well I DID have a project interviewing bar girls in Thailand (that counts right??  "social"....)

I do financially support my family, even though they never moved closer to me

Balcony?  Nope.  High ceiling?  Well, not too low I guess.  Old building?  Sort of old but not that old...   I think I also mentioned having lots of plants.  For a while I did have some plants at home before they all died.
Travel - oh yeah indeed I traveled a lot in the past few years, so much and so far I prayed I could stay put in Hong Kong.

Master Portuguese....em......... not really.  Though I can read a little bit... Guess you don't count that as mastering.

Work from home....yeah I did get sick a lot and ended up doing a lot of conference calls, replying a lot of emails from home.

Writing.... not for a living... but yes I do update my blog and maintain my "happy" album - still haven't explored further.

Finally, start a family....... Wow, this is a big one.  Was close to achieving that before everything fell apart (more like BLEW UP).  After that, no one really saw me as wife material yet.  My Chinese soup of love, support through thick and thin, loyalty, generous supply of love hasn't received much appreciation.  Admittedly, those who remotely showed any interest, I ran away before they even got a chance to get close.  Perhaps I should open up to anyone and everyone and see how it goes! 

I don't know if I should blame my plan as lacking in focus/ substance, or I just haven't really stayed focused in searching for those things.  :(

Two Peas in a Pod, Traveling

Having done so many travels alone, these days I only enjoy solo traveling when I have someone special back home to share my experience with - real time.  I have never really thought about how the person at the receiving end felt though - hearing all the funny stories - real time - but not being there to experience it first hand.  Perhaps it really sucked for them!

I think I would still enjoy traveling alone on spiritual journeys - you know, places that are soulful, enlightening - unless I have a soulful companion who wouldn't spoil the mood.  Otherwise, for all other places, it's so much more enjoyable having someone to explore together. 

I am still very much a fairytale kinda girl.  Silly day dreaming like a little girl, thinking how cool it would be to run around with a guy holding hands, experiencing everything together like two peas in a pod.  Sort of like what Kev and I were, for a while at least (before things fell apart of course!).  I really really aspire to be just a simple girl running around with a simple guy.  You may say,"but you aren't a simple girl, dear."  And I would say,"but I AM just a simple girl being thrown into complicated, sad situations.  I don't belong in those situations, really."  And I know you still won't believe me.....

Happy Go Lucky

My dog is a happy-go-lucky puppy. When I am not around, no matter how much he loves me, he is able to have a great time with my friends. He doesn't lose his appetite, or his sleep. He makes the best out of whatever situation. I love him dearly, and am very happy he has such good spirit.

I do happen to know someone - my Brazilian ex - who has the same kind of spirit. Thus I used to call him puppy. He was a very happy pup indeed. He doesn't mourn for months over a breakup, he doesn't miss an opportunity to enjoy good times. He isn't a cold hearted person - he accepts changes, treasures good times, and frees himself from past burden.

I envy such true optimism.

Alone in Valencia

Arrived at Valencia, I hungrily walked around Plaza Reina to look for tapas.....

It's hard to have tapas for one person, as they are meant to be shared so I can only finish 2 tapas by myself without wasting food or money.

Drink: Cava. (I only know of cava and sangria in Spain)
Food: Calamares, and bacalhao with red pepper in olive oil (lovely on bread even though I normally don't eat pepper)
The bacalhao dish was a recommendation by the staff.  And I love it.

I'm enjoying my lunch on the sidewalk, surrounded by couples, groups of tourists. Being the only one eating alone, I am used to curious stares and unaffected. It's strangely chilled here, in Valencia, and I am already in love with the people here. The lady who recommended the bacalhao dish to me just stuck her head out of the window to ask if I liked the sweetness of the red pepper paired with the saltiness of the fish. Earlier, an old man walked over with a bottle of garlic mayo telling me I must try calamares with it  How sweet.

I sip my cava, watching people walk by, and am enjoying all this. I also think about the Spain trip o had with Angie - it was my first time in Europe and was very excited by everything around me. I also think what it would be like to be here with a special someone. I think it could be nice too, but sometimes it's nice to travel with someone who can also quietly enjoy the experience instead of frantically dash from tourist spot to tourist spot like competing in Amazing Race.

It's difficult isn't it, looking for companion with similar energy level, state of mind. Yet, I also admire couples who are able to accept extreme differences and accommodate. It's an art.

Tour Eiffel from Trocadéro

As advised by tripadvisor, the first night I arrived at Paris I waited till the sun set - after 10pm in June - and took the metro to Trocadéro to for a night view of the Eiffel Tower. It was very easy to get to, and the tower was right in front me! It was effortless taking this picture as I arrived late and avoided peak tourist times.
Was it really breathtaking? Well, I spent only 5 mins there. But it really is charming in picture so I definitely think it was well worth the quick visit!
I hope to also take the Bateau Mouche late tonight to have a little boat ride along the river lined by key monuments.... Let's see what time I finish work.

Curly is a lucky dog

Curly B, you are a very lucky dog. You are blessed with so many of us showering you with love and hugs and kisses and attention. While I am away these two weeks, Benny 哥哥 looks after you everyday, spending time with you, picking up your smelly poopie, combing your hair, feeding you food. Uncle Stephen spending his whole Saturday with you when Benny 哥哥 is in Macau. We all love you so much, we want to make sure you feel happy even when Mommy's away for 2 weeks.

Happy 7 months old, my Baby! I miss you so much like my own son.

Happiness is..... Having a good old friend

..... Who knows you so well that she can tell you you are out of your fu*king mind and not thinking straight (when you aren't). It is really invaluable having a voice of sanity standing by when you have the most retarded idea.

Happiness is..... Giving People a Break!

With my emotions often written all over my face, I could very easily ruin one's day, making one feel terrible about himself or herself. It's not nice and I've been learning to avoid it.

Past few days, despite observing some poor quality work, I managed not to feel upset or judge the person, but instead light heartedly helping these people out, reminding them how to do the work correctly, and doing all this with a sincere smile. I saw these people smiling at me and thanking me instead of having the usual scared look, I felt very happy I didn't ruin their days.

Happiness is..... Giving people a break.

Sensitive

Once a clairvoyant said to me: You grew up in an unhappy family, and it made you starting from a young girl very sensitive to people who were not happy. It affected you more than others because as a child you wanted so much to do something to make that person happy again, to help the situation but you couldn't. You felt helpless. As an adult this still affects you.

I do wish I could one day free myself from such guilt and sadness.

Whatsapp

I love Whatsapp. It's such a great chat tool I can't live without it.

But I also hate it. I hate that it shows whether the person you are chatting with is online or not, and that double ticks tell you if the person has read your message or not. It drives my mind wild wondering why someone read my message, is currently online, but isn't replying to my earlier comment. Is he/she in the bathroom? Does he/she have his/her hands full? Is he/she very busy? Was my comment offensive?

I don't know why I drive myself crazy over a little app!! I sometimes do hate that my own directness and impatience makes me crave for immediate response from other people when I know everyone's pace and style and priority is different. Take it easy, Lady!

(Hahahaha, just now someone told me he was in bathroom. I was waiting for his message as I was having such a bad day and really needed his "company")

Travel - Time for Reflection

I dread long business trips now, especially to uninteresting cities with very packed work meetings in office. It used to be more interesting when I could visit real people's homes for my work.

Yet, jetlag, flight waiting time, insomnia provides a great timeout to reflect on life. Being away from my usual surroundings often allow me to see my life from another perspective, reassessing my priorities.

I am in Frankfurt now. Not the most happening or beautiful city, but strangely, the squares, the fresh air, expressionless faces, slow walking pace amidst a mix of old and new (yet uninspiring architecture) calms my mind.

Appreciating Companionship

A long but very comfortable flight, now I understand why people pay so much for business class. 

I managed to sleep 7 hours and finished a movie, No Strings Attached. And it really got me thinking. 

Perhaps some relationships need a break up, time apart, to become stronger?  To give each other a chance to relax, not try so hard that it becomes stressful, to see each other's true personality?  To objectively consider if you can accept the other person's flaws, and likewise?  To rethink what you need?

I lived my life searching high and low for what I wanted, trying hard to stay focused - then I stopped searching in the past many months, just totally wanted to give up searching, and found comfort and balance in the simple companionship I had. It felt strangely nice. (And then I lost that companion.)

I'm not good at discussing these things with a guy I split with.  I always fear he will misunderstand me as trying to manipulate him.  The more I try to explain myself, the more I confuse a guy. How do you explain to a person it took you a long time to accept him, yet you hit it off quickly at first?  It sounds contradicting, but really it isn't. 

Perhaps it takes a certain level of maturity and stage of stability to appreciate the value of good companionship over a glamorous relationship others envy.

Companionship

People kept telling me to stop hanging out with my ex and start looking for a boyfriend. I kept telling them I really enjoyed his companionship and really wasn't in a rush to look for anyone. I was enjoying my time.

Then I found out as much as I enjoyed his companionship, I couldn't expect him to stick around forever. I kept stubbornly saying to myself, like a kid throwing temper tantrums: why not? Why can't we just keep having each other as company?

I felt sad. I felt hurt. I felt betrayed. I felt abandoned. I felt naive. I felt lonely.

My rational side told the little girl in me: people's priorities change, sweetie. Yesterday you were his priority, tomorrow you won't be.

I have been feeling quite lonely getting through everyday life alone. I really miss companionship. I miss having someone who genuinely care, and allow me to care.

Corporate Life Taught Me.....

To bite my tongue when my boss and senior management is making very stupid but determined decisions.  The operative word being: determined. 

If they are determined, let them be.  I will stay true to myself by not praising the decision.  Yet I will also protect myself (and my source of income) by not trying to change what I cannot change. 

Indeed, there are some things I can change in a corporate environment - and there are plenty more things I can't.  And if I try too hard to change the things I can't change, I not only waste my time and effort, hurt my own morale, but also make enemies in the process.  No win situation.

Sorry to disappoint.  There is very little justice in work life. 

Happy 21!

Recently I got invited to a birthday party - a "happy 21st" party!  When thinking what to write on his facebook wall without sounding too much like a mom, I started thinking what I would have done more of / differently if I could start my life at 21 again.

1. Save more money.  Fewer visits to expensive restaurants unless a date is paying for the meal.  Fewer taxi rides (too late now, it's become a habit.). 
2. Better suncare routine to reduce sun damage.
3. Party just as hard but with different groups of friends to expand my network of friends.
4. Ditch dead-end relationships even faster, to make time for meeting the right person with more strategic planning.
5. Spend more time soul searching, discovering my untapped talents.
6. Spend more time with my mom.
7. Learn how to swim sooner (than 2007).
8. Be wiser about relationships.  Infatuation and falling in love are not the same as loving someone or being loved by someone.  Having said that, I do not regret the rare occasion when I fell madly and blindly in love, fully intoxicated and in bliss for months (before a series of heartbreaks).  Those were some of the happiest memories of my life and I would repeat the same mistake gladly - only to learn to let go with a calmer mind and heart when time is up.
9. Take more mandarin lessons and practise more.
10. Train myself early on to communicate at work more tactfully.  Learn and play the rules of the game more smartly.
11. Control my anger and frustration more carefully.  Learn to accept people's weirdness, dumbness, lack of logic.
12. Travel even more to see as much of the world as possible, before keeping a dog.
13. Try harder to work on the brief long-distance relationship I had.   

小女人是幸福的

身邊有朋友是典型的小女人,樣子漂亮,學歷高,尚算聰明,但偏偏喜歡躲在大男人男友身後.

男友顧名思義大男人,經常假民主或懶得扮民主,大小事情都是他作決定.女友處處遷就,再不歡喜也只會默不作聲,不投訴,不吵鬧. 女友凡事都要問男友意見,批准. 男友有什麼新嗜好,女友都會體貼地嘗試培養興趣,為男友作伴. 男友雖然為人有點cocky,但女友眼見男友說出令友人尷尬的說話,也不會提點,反而沾沾自喜,覺得男友口齒伶俐.

在女友眼中,男友是good catch. 有事業,有靚車,有錢,有頭腦,有學歷,有高尚會所會席,有sense of humour,有嗜好. 不抽煙,不暴力. 身體健康,喜歡運動. 從不和她計較金錢. 旅行,吃飯,男友自動自覺付錢. 男友雖算不上是大好人,但對家人和某些朋友還算不錯.

小女人是有福的. 我衷心覺得她是有福的. 能夠易於滿足, 不要求男友是標準體貼情人,不需要為任何事爭一口氣,只期待男友快點求婚,給以後的生活舒適保障. 小女人是幸福的.

Passionately Hating One's Job

More than once I came across taxi drivers who were very upset when stuck in traffic jams.  I was tempted to ask them, if you cannot deal with traffic jams on a daily basis then why don't you pick another profession?

For the same reason, I roll my eyes when I come across market researchers who hate drafting questionnaires and reviewing tabulations; client servicing "professionals" who bitch about clients everyday; investment advisors/ investors upset about making a loss in the market.  Not that we have to pretend to love the bumpy part of the ride, but whose life/ career is really smooth sailing the entire journey?  Most of us got into our profession of choice knowing fully well what we were getting into.  If we hate the core component of our profession so passionately, who are we to blame for us not trying to make a move?

While some people are indeed lacking in education and fundamental skills to change their situation, most of us are in a position to change - only crippled by our own fear, stubbornness or pride.

annah h - HK Designer of custom-made uniquely sophisticated workwear, bridal & event wear, casual wear

Hannah is the designer behind the annah h label - one of my best kept secrets in Hong Kong!

I've known Hannah for years and had my first custom-made dress designed by her in 2008, to attend a friend's wedding in New York.  It was a long mint green chiffon dress, flawlessly made, fitted perfectly in the first fitting, and totally complemented my style.

Since then, Hannah has designed bridesmaid dresses for my friend's wedding, chic work and leisure wear for me.  Our latest project was some work + leisure wear as shown in picture on the left.  Boring black-from-head-to-toe and pant suits are not my style, so I asked for brighter colored fabric with a design that does not sacrifice elegance and sophistication.  I think I also asked for versatility - to be able to wear these clothes not just to work, but also to a fancy date (not that I have any yet), an afterwork event, or a nice dinner.  These clothes perfectly match my needs.  Paired with a different belt or accessories, I can easily achieve a different look!

I genuinely believe that every female needs to have a trusted dressmaker design some special pieces for her.  Please do not confuse this with going to Shenzhen/ Lo Woo to make clothes copying some branded designs.  I am talking about a designer with a point of view, good taste, and excellent knowledge of what flatters your body shape and style.  It makes a difference having a piece of special clothing made that stems from your desires (wish list), and married with your designer's technical advice and creativity.  Hope you also get to experience this special feeling when wearing a custom-made outfit made to bring out your unique style!

annah h

Email: h@annahh.com

Tel: +852 36266026  (by appointment only)

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/pages/annah-h/70103209371

Website: http://www.annahh.com

Inspiration

Last night I tossed and turned in bed for 3 hours, bothered by the realization that I had been seriously lacking in sources of inspiration lately, making life enjoyable but in a very mundane way.

I woke up this morning feeling BLAH still.  Went to work, told a girl friend about an important - and stressful - appointment I have tomorrow morning, with someone very well regarded in the industry, supposedly a really wise person.  I told her I was nervous and not feeling great about it because we were supposed to discuss a very high profile job opening which I felt some other people might have even more relevant background for and also I wouldn't be able to travel 40% of my time as they requested.

Then, my friend said: Sounds like you can learn a lot from that guy.

Wow.  That was profound.  I had been so absorbed in my blues that I hadn't considered how I could really learn something from the discussion.  That really turned things around.  Now my focus has shifted, and I would go into that meeting not aiming to land the job but hopefully to be inspired by this guy's wisdom and knowledge.

I feel much better already.

Loveramics

Long overdue recommendation:  Loveramics.  For my Christmas party's gift exchange, I decided to shop for some special homeware, so I headed to Loveramics for the first time, after hearing about it from other blogs.

The shop is tucked away in a small street in Sheung Wan, off Hollywood Road.  It's the perfect place to buy smart and chic design homeware without a price tag which would give you a heart attack.  I think it's a great place to shop for gift-shopping, if the recipient likes tasteful lifestyle products.  The shop name may be slightly misleading - while it does have a good collection of beautiful ceramic products, they also carry other non-ceramic products.

What I love about the shop is that it surprised me with very smartly design products which are not just pretty to look at, but equally smart in its functions.  I bought myself a ceramic pot with a collapsible silicone lid, which is meant to be perfect for steaming, stewing, or shabu shabu, with the lid's height adjustable to control the heat insulation.  I still haven't tried it out yet, but the idea of it seemed very cool to me :)

It was a small shop, but I still managed to spend more than an hour deciding between many products.  Trust you will enjoy it too.

http://www.loveramics.com/

37 Tung St, 174 Hollywood Road, Central, HK

Opening Hours: 

Hong Kong Concept Store

Tue - Wed 12:00 - 18:00

Thu - Fri 12:00 - 19:00

Weekends 11:00 - 19:00

Mondays closed

Tel: (852) 2915 8018